Comparing Debra Tannen's 'Sex, Lies And Conversation'

Communication of the Sexes
The tongue of a blue whale can weigh as much as an elephant, but there exists a tongue that is far more powerful than that of the blue whale’s tongue, that is the human tongue (Santoso). When utilized properly, the human tongue can accomplish great feats, but if misused can cause a plethora of problem. A certain measure of success in life depends on utilizing communication in a wise way. Debra Tannen, a well-known authority on communication, says men and women communicate in different ways. Tannen wrote in her essay Sex, Lies and Conversation about how men and women are raised differently, the problems that arise with cross gender communication, and ultimately what the solution is to fix this problem. How a person is raised will have an impact on what kind of person he or she will become. Women and men are raised in different social groups and their behavior is proof of this. “Little girls create and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets,” wrote Debra Tannen (404). As girls grow up they continue to view

Debra Tannen wrote, “When a girl told a friend about a problem, the friend responded by asking probing question and expressing agreement and understanding” (404). Women have a support group when talking amongst themselves, but men have the exact opposite disposition. “Boys dismissed each other’s problems,” wrote Debra Tannen (404). Men downplay the severity of other people’s problems when communicating. A woman talking to an inexperienced man may get rather mad because the woman expects support from the man, who much to his chagrin, may dismiss the woman’s problems. Women don’t want a solution to their problems, often they just want someone to listen and support them and men don’t want support, they want the other person to downplay the situation. Conversation between men and women don’t have to be