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Denial Of Death In Tim O Brian's The Lives Of The Dead

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When a loved one dies, it can be difficult to cope with the loss. The loss can be overwhelmingly devastating which results in the desperate desire to connect with the person who has died. To compensate, people often insist on keeping the loved one’s spirit with them through memory. However, oftentimes the death is so unimaginable and the impact so great, it results in the denial of death and the subsequent altering of these memories. Denial of death undermines memory by fabricating understanding of events, and in Tim O’Brian’s “The Lives of The Dead,” Tim’s memories of a childhood crush Linda, demonstrate his denial through his altered visual, auditory, and emotional memories.
Even after a loved one passes away, people can still feel connected …show more content…

Tim engages in this behaviour when he talks to Linda about her experiences in the afterlife, while he is having dreams in which Linda is still physically there. He repeatedly inquires about how it feels to be dead. Linda’s answers are always insightful. For example she replies, ‘“Once you’re alive [...] you can’t ever be dead.” Or she’d say: “Do I look dead?”” (244) This quote reveals that given how hard it is for Tim to deal with the loss, he wants to make sure Linda feels safe and content. Tim's visions of Linda are distorted because they serve as a way for him to cope with his guilt and regret over not being able to save her. Throughout the story, Tim blames himself for not being able to do more for Linda, even though he was only a child at the time. His visions of Linda serve as a way for him to imagine a reality where he was able to save her, and where she is happy and healthy. Although auditory memories are frequent in mourners, they can also be a sign of denial. These discussions invariably end with the deceased person persuading the bereaved that they are doing well, despite the fact that there is no way to verify this and the situation is ultimately made up. Tim’s subconscious is confirming that Linda is safe. He is asking her these questions to provide him with closure. Thus, Tim's visions of Linda can be seen as distorted into something that was not reality because they were a product of his imagination and memories rather than an accurate representation of who Linda was. His visions serve as a way for him to cope with his guilt and regret over not being able to save her, and as a way for him to cling to his childhood innocence, denying her inevitable

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