1. I received a 3 as my score on the 1984 essay. There were many things wrong with my essay and how it was written. For starters, my essay relied on plot summary far too much. It included long quotes and then paraphrasing of the plot to explain the claims made in the paper. For example, the use of the excerpt “Another example in this novel says, “In the far distance a helicopter skimmed between roofs, hovered for an instant like a blue-bottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the Police Patrol snooping in to people’s windows,” (Orwell 2). From this quote we see that, while used to the surveillance, Winston is paranoid of being caught committing Thought Crime.” My essay did not help support the idea that Winston was paranoid very well. It was far more wordy than necessary as well. Another fault in my writing was that I included oversimplified analyses of my examples so that the reader would have a hard time relating my examples to the main points in each paragraph. I try and dissect the quote above in my essay but only add “Winston is paranoid of being caught committing Thought Crime”. This sentence is not descriptive enough to relate back to my main point. Therefore, my essay deserved a 3 on the AP grading scale since it was inept and inadequate.
2.
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One thing I did well in my essay was integrating good examples into my essay. My analyses of the examples, like I’ve previously said, were inadequate in relating the examples to the claims, but the quotes I used themselves were just right for the main idea of the paragraphs written. An example would be “… Winston got to witness was Parsons getting turned into the Thought Police himself. “It was my little daughter,” (Orwell 233) was Parsons response when Winston asked him how he had gotten caught and who turned him in.”. Although I need to work on reducing the amount of summarizing in my writing, the example itself does a great job explaining the lack of relationships in Oceania due to the