A Thousand Splendid Suns Attachment Style Essay

Attachment styles refer to the patterns of emotional and behavioral responses individuals develop in close relationships, shaped by early experiences with caregivers. Mariam, one of the protagonists of the book “A Thousand Splendid Suns”, by Khaled Hosseini, exhibits an insecure anxious ambivalent attachment style, characterized by a deep fear of abandonment and a propensity to seek validation and affirmation from others.

One of the factors of Mariam's childhood that contributed to her anxious ambivalent attachment style is Mariam's conturbed relationship with Nana, her mother. Nana never demonstrated any type of love or affection towards Mariam and constantly blamed Mariam, that was only a child at the time, for her own problems and her

Adults with an insecure anxious ambivalent attachment style often end up in toxic relationships because they feel the need for approval from their partners and tolerate toxic behaviors in order to get validation from them. Despite the fact that Rasheed is cruel to Mariam, she's still devoted to him. She constantly seeks his approval regardless of his abusive behavior. Due to Mariam's problematic childhood, she was never truly loved by anybody and never experienced unconditional love. Mariam never thought she deserved to be loved by anyone. When she married Rasheed and he was abusive to her, part of the reason why she didn't stand up for herself was that she didn't think she was deserving of a happy life due to the constant invalidation of her feelings in her childhood. According to the article "How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships", adults with an anxious ambivalent attachment style crave emotional intimacy but worry that others don’t want to be with them, and throughout the book, we can see there are some times when Mariam worries that she is not good enough for Rasheed, even if he is abusive. According to the same article, these adults need constant reassurance and validation from their partners because they did not receive this in their childhood. On page 46, Rasheed makes compliment about Mariam's cooking, and this makes Mariam very satisfied. "A flare

Mariam states "Was this what he did then, those nights that she did not visit her room? Had she been a disappointment to him in this particular regard?", showing that Mariam is blaming herself for Rasheed's inappropriate acts. Mariam blames herself because her anxious ambivalent attachment style internalizes her guilty and leads her to believe that Rasheed is only doing that because she's not able to satisfy all his needs. Mariam's tendency to blame herself in situations that are not her fault in her relationship reflects her need for validation and fear of