April and May are sort of a blur to me except for one thing. After losing clumps of my hair and crying every day and feeling so alone. I withdrew from class. I decided I was done. I hated it so much. I hated leadership class! A class based on inclusion, acceptance, and strong character. These were an elite group of kids who were kind and set apart from the rest. These were the example students.
And I was bullied by the kind kids. The kids who promote anti-bullying. Oh the irony! Bullied by the nice kids.
I was broken. I never thought I would get better or feel better. I was sick. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I let one class have so much power over me. However, despite the negativity in my life I made a conscious choice to be happy.
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Like every high school student, I just wanted to fit in. So I did the thing that any other person in school would do… I applied for the leadership program again. Leadership was such a large part of my identity, I felt empty without it. I felt lost without the team building exercises and poster making. It sounds so stupid but
I joined because I felt as everything was
taken away from me. I just wanted some control!
In June. I put up a fight to be included in yearbook signings and saying goodbye to my friends in Special Education class where I spent most of my year.
I thought it was all over for me. My record was blemished. I was sad and lonely. This was quite possibly the year from hell.
I lost my best friend. I lost my safe space.
I lost it all. I would never wish what happened to me on anyone. This was such a dark and miserable time. As I sit hear wiping my tears. I can only smile. I finished my junior year. I ended my year with a completely new group of people. I learned so much about myself this year. I did it… I survived. ♥
I wrote that diary entry on the last day of school. I am so happy to be able to say all of the things I did. I have