I have always been curious why perfection is so strongly sought after, even with the knowledge that such flawlessness is unattainable, and imperfection is often equated with failure. It is human nature to want to succeed; no one strives to do poorly, but it is not fair to limit ourselves to a system of either passing or failing. I used to believe that I must be the best at everything, regardless of my actual skills, interests, or talents. I wanted to be the distinguished athlete, the brilliant student, the amusing socialite and the compassionate friend at all times, and more importantly, I wanted to be the best in all of those categories simultaneously.
The day I realized I couldn’t be perfect at everything was the same day I thought it would be best to drop out of AP Calculus. I was asked to take my first
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I was upset for some time, considering dropping the course altogether, but after some scrutiny, I acknowledged that giving up would not solve my problems, only allow them to follow me into my college career. My goal is to be a chemical engineer, and if I thought I could do that without understanding calculus, I would never get to live my dream. I took the failing grade as a motivation to do better next time; I put more effort into studying and practicing, even when work was not assigned, and I was miraculously able to earn an A for my semester grade, and a passing score on my AP exam.
As cliche as it may sound, the failure helped me by motivating me. I now understand that I can not expect perfection, but only my best, and that failure will push me to do better. After my academic life became easier and more managed, other areas of my life started to fall into place, which is so refreshing now. I set such high goals for myself, not yet understanding that my expectations were subjective rather than objective, and now I have come to realize that as long as I do my best, and not someone else's best, the outcome will be just