Confucianism In The Vietnamese Family

“I find it hard to talk about myself. I am always tripped up by the eternal “who am I?” paradox. Sure, no one knows as much pure data about me as me. But when I talk about myself, all sorts of other factors -values, standards, my own limitations as an observer- make me, the narrator, select and eliminate things about me. I 've always been disturbed by the thought that I 'm not painting a very objective picture of myself.” (Sputnik sweetheart- Haruki Murakami)

Like Haruki Murakami, a famous Japanese writer, with his above quote, I am also really confused when I think about myself and my personal identity. The question “Who am I?” has obsessed me for a long time. As I grew up, the answer for this question seemed to be gradually exposed.

Continuously, I want to mention another aspect of Confucianism that significantly effects the Vietnamese families is the strong preference to have boy to carry on family name. Daughter is not considered necessary in heritage because people think girls from birth bring nothing for parents. Like almost traditional families, there are both son and daughter in my family so fortunately, my mother at least does not have to face intense pressure and malicious gossip from in - laws about childbirth. Since I was mature enough to think critically about an issue I have regarded it as an old prejudice needed to be broken down. I want my extended family and relatives to fully realize that children are special gift for each family regardless of boy or girl. When I grow up like my brother I will go to university to purchase my dream, get an ideal job, be self – financing. My brother and I will cooperate to look after grandparents and parents after I get

Besides family; school brought me sound knowledge and gave wing to my dream, where I gradually found myself after days in school and lecture hall. Among received knowledge perhaps American traditional beliefs and values affected my ideology significantly. Firstly, one cannot help but be impressed by their self-reliance and “can-do” spirit. Unlike Vietnam where children are given a sheltered life, American likes to think they are natural – born do – it – yourselfers. Instead of waiting and offering service for installments, repairs, buildings and some things for their house, American always do believe their capability and find solutions and finish work themselves. Furthermore, they also hope to get both financial and emotional independence from their parents as early as possible. This thing is fully contrary to me, I cannot imagine a life without relying on family and friend for emotional and financial support. In the end, I find that there is a difference between two cultures and due to my avid interest in American above values I choose to follow cultural values of my country. However, I find the American ethic of hard work attractive. American believe that hard work necessarily brings great material rewards and the film named The pursuit of Happiness will be a lively illustration for this. People are ready to pay a price for their material wealth by working hardly. Personally, I always highly appreciate this value because in our lives, many people achieve success not only