Core Memories Of Crying In H-Mart By Michelle Zauner

Core Memories

Tanisha Gupta

As humans, we tend to take people and things for granted and don’t notice the fleeting, small moments until they are gone. In Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, the importance of preserving memories while grieving the loss of a loved one is demonstrated and proved. To truly achieve a state of acceptance after grief and death, you are required to cherish the memorable moments you spent with the person.

The theme of the memoir is the significance of holding onto memories while mourning the loss of a loved one. Michelle wrote “The memories I stored, I could not let festered. Could not let trauma infiltrate and spread, to spoil and render them useless. They were moments to be tended. The culture we shared I was active,

The lessons she imparted, the proof of her life lived on in me, and in every move and deed. I was what she left behind. If I could not be with my mother, I would be her.” (Zauner.223-224) This quote refers to the emphasis on the value of having fond memories that help you recall pleasant moments to ease the grieving process and maintaining the positive lifestyle that the departed would have wanted for you. For most of her teenage life, Zauner had a complex relationship with her mother, and the long tension between them drew them apart at times along with making Michelle view her parents as negative and controlling. However, this only made it harder for her to deal with her mother's cancer, since she did not know where she stood with Chongmi. After the passing of her mother, Michelle started to recall the positives in all of her mother's actions and words along with examining everything her mother did to try to understand why she did it, even if they may not have been so direct, for example in the form of verbal affirmations and gifts. Regardless of how her mother raised her, these life lessons helped Michelle to stay in touch with

I have always had a certain attachment to memories regardless of whether the person is in my life or not. So when my grandmother passed in the summer and my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, I did know how to feel since they were both a priceless part of my life and upbringing. I had not seen my grandmother in 5 years because she was living in India and had not known she was sick until one day my mom finally told me. I felt the biggest rush of emotions hitting me at once. My grandma had raised me and only my mother was able to go to India and see her before she passed and attend the funeral. I never got that type of closure and had to deal with it while going through many other things as well. I regret being too busy to call her dailysince I have no recollection of what her last words were to me. I hold onto the memories I have with her from my childhood and try to preserve them while grieving through the loss. During her sickness and passing, I did not get to grieve her since I became the sole caretaker of the family while my mother was gone to India to see her one last time. My father was too busy with work and was also grieving, leaving me to go to my summer internship and then also making food, cleaning, and taking care of my brother. I was too busy and needed all of these responsibilities as a distraction away from the death of one of my most