After a short silence, Pawl’s hand brushed her back. “Wait, stop,” he said, and Lindara turned. “When my wife died, I took my sword out to the forest every day for a week. I planned to fall on the blade, but when it came down to going through with it, I made excuses about how it was a bad time, and that I’d do it the next day. But the next day turned into a week and I never did it. Not man enough, I suppose.” He sighed and peered up into the trees. “Instead, I’ve been a sullen, angry mess for twenty years. I don’t know which is better.” “You’re no more a mess than anyone else; you just keep telling yourself you are.” “And you would know?” He sounded perturbed, but Pawl spoke with a smile on his face. “I would. Besides, I’m glad you didn’t do through with it. And you’re not a mess. Surly at times, perhaps.” She …show more content…
“I care for him very much. In fact, I’m falling in love with him.” A gentle smile spread across young Merrion’s face. “That would be wonderful. It would allow me to be at peace. He’s a good man and was the best husband. He deserves love in his life. Please tell him that.” The women, with tears in their eyes, embraced, and Pawl reached for them, but woke with a start. Had that been permission to move on? Was Merrion honestly sending him a sign? He normally didn’t believe in such things, but this dream seemed real, as if Merrion needed him to be at peace so she could be, too. Pushing the dream aside, Pawl wandered from the castle into the springtime afternoon where the sweet, green smell of the season was magnified tenfold, thanks to this uncommon heatwave that had settled upon Camelot this morning. Pawl came upon Lindara in the clearing, and she wore a light blue tunic dress, one half-sleeves and cinched at the waist with a leather belt. Her hair was pinned up, as it always was when they threw, and she looked like a girl, fresh-faced and enthusiastic, her cheeks rosy from the