Something feels weird as I open my eyes today. I realize that I’m sleeping on my back. But I also sense that it is not the only thing that makes this morning so peculiar. The ceiling looks damp, dismal, dispiriting and abnormally white. Suddenly everything starts flashing on the blank ceiling, like a film that had been waiting for me to open my eyes so that it could start playing. The loud metallic bang, like a metal bucket being banged on the floor, only louder…louder than anything I have ever heard. The inexplicable sudden heat. The phrenetic panic. The flying things…flying detritus, flying limbs, flying people. The frantic screaming. The gruesome sight of blood spilling from people, people who were moving, talking, laughing just 10 seconds ago. The instant sense of loss, far surpassing the feelings of shock and surprise. Like even before you realize what has happened, you know that it’s tragic, sad. Something stirs deep within me.

I shut my eyes, desperately wishing I could go back to sleep forever. My heart feels heavy, I don’t yet know why. There is this thing about human hearts; they always know when you ought to feel bad, even if you don’t know. I realize that my sleep will never be the same. I will have to open my eyes and meet my family, who probably waited anxiously the whole night in the hospital. Like hundreds of others. I take a deep breath and open my eyes and look around, immediately regretting doing so. There are people with burns on their hands, face, feet,