Diary,
I got another bad mark today in school. It usually wouldn't bother me too much, but it’s the third one in the last couple of weeks. I feel ashamed as I walk into my household, hanging my head and trying to avoid my parents because I am aware that a long wrath about how I need to be doing better is awaiting. Every time I have a test I kill myself attempting to prepare for it, but I don't think they realize how burnt out I truly am.
I am currently enrolled in four core classes: Social 20-1, Chemistry 20, English 20-1, and Biology 20. In addition, I am taking three out of those four classes in French. This usually works out to 2-3 hours of homework every night. Sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the day. I am also part of my school’s basketball team, which means I have practice everyday for two hours. Some days
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They claim that they were teenagers and that they understand, but unless they are currently living MY life, I don't think they can get it. They wonder why I’m tired all the time- well when you don't go to bed until almost midnight every single day, you're going to be tired. They wonder why I'm grumpy all the time- well when you are stretched out to your absolute thinnest with no time to have a social life or to relax, with your parents constantly hounding you about your grades dropping, you're going to be pissed off. I love my parents. I really do. But there is no doubt that they are shattering all my self confidence. My classes are getting harder, and as a result, my grades are getting lower. Where I once had no problem getting 100% on a Chem test, I am now struggling to receive an 80%. They are disappointed in me. They think that I am not doing my absolute best and that I need to be more focused. I have received countless awards for my marks and they are still hoping for the same. I'm trying. I'm trying so damn hard, but they can't see