To win back his wife, an unromantic husband sets out to prove that indeed he has some passion in his blood by writing a romantic novel, but his determination spirals out of control when he uses a ghost writer to deceive her. STORY COMMENTS
LUV U presents with a solid, high concept premise. The idea of a husband trying to prove he’s romantic is a great setup for comedy, conflict, and character growth. There’s a smart story choice when he attempts to write a romantic novel, only to have to use a ghostwriter. His actions nicely spiral the situation out of control.
The script is driven by the theme of second chances. The story offers romance, deceit, betrayal, and fantasy.
There’s a three-act structure. The first act establishes the conflict.
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The deceit is established when Brett uses Jenny as his ghostwriter. In addition, there are many other deceits throughout the script. There’s a well-identified antagonist, who creates solid obstacles. There’s a clear “all is lost” moment, when Brett believes he has lost his wife, son, and the woman he has fallen in love with.
The third act is a bit chaotic, but at the end love triumphs.
As much as one really adores the concept, the script would benefit from more development. One can envision a much stronger storyline and more engaging comedic characters. The script would also benefit from a tighter structure and enhanced pace, as well as more personal tension.
The story opens setting up the conflict between the protagonist Brett and his wife, Haylee.
While the idea is good, the scene can use more excitement and the dialogue can be less on the nose. Try to convey their conflict, but do it subtly and with more visual images rather than through direct dialogue. For example, show how un-romantic Brett truly is versus having the characters talk about it. Instead of the game ticket being for Brett and Matt, consider that maybe it’s their anniversary or Haylee’s birthday and she’s excited about getting a present and then the present turns out to be tickets or something very un-romantic. Then show Haylee’s