Why My Parents Divorce

My parents’ divorce is an identity marker that has played a major role in my life over the last decade. It is important to me because the divorce brought me closer to both of my parents and sister, and also gave me two incredible stepparents, a half sister, and a half brother. Knowing the effect my parents’ divorce had on my life helps people to know me because my family is the most important thing to me and I would not be who I am without it and it’s history. First, I researched studies on relationships between siblings, parents, and stepparents after a divorce. When looking at the father, the studies of J. Wallerstein and J. Lewis showed showed that fathers find it easier to spend time with their youngest child in comparison to their older

In August 2009, my mom and stepfather welcomed my sister to our lives, and in April 2010, my dad and stepmom welcomed a son. The article claimed, “recent studies also show that stepparents favor their biological children over their stepchildren. (Wallerstien and Lewis. 2007) I suppose I could say that this statement was relevant in my situation, but it is also necessary to consider the fact that I was 14 when both of my siblings were born. Therefore, my new siblings were given more attention because they needed it much more than Kenna or I did, not because they were necessarily “favored.” Overall, I maintained a very good relationship with both of my parents after their divorce. This is said to be more important for a child’s wellbeing than the structural factors of a post-divorce family. (Vanassche, Sodermans, Matthiis, & Swicegood. 2013) As Shulman stated, “The appraisal of the events is probably more important than their mere occurrence.”

Whitton, Rhoades, and Stanley stated in their article, “Daughters of divorced parents appear to be more ambivalent about committing to a particular partner, not merely to the notion that marriage, in general, should be forever.” They also claimed that women reported lower commitment and confidence in their marriages when their parents had divorced. (Whitton, Rhoades, Stanley. 2008) I do not agree with this because although my parents are divorced, their second marriages have shown us what a marriage should look like. Granted, it’s understandable that people whose parents are divorced are worried they will suffer the same fate. However, beings that I have seen both what a marriage should and should not look like, I think I will be more inclined to have a strong, healthy, long lasting marriage. In conclusion, my parents’ divorce impacted me greatly, and not necessarily in a bad way. After the divorce, I managed to maintain a good relationship with my parents and their new partners, even through the birth of two new siblings. Contrary to many studies, I did not become depressed and was able to maintain good grades in school. Finally, my parent’s divorce did not deteriorate my view on marriage, but showed me the difference between a marriage that is healthy, and a marriage that is not. Divorce does not always have to be a negative thing; sometimes, a new start is exactly what the family