Why RG3 truly is the best QB in the NFL
(This piece may or may not contain high levels of satire.)
So, Robert Griffin the third is 'officially ' the best QB in the NFL. The source? Why only the mouth of the great man himself! The former Heismann winner, Offensive ROY and “saviour” of the Redskins sure has a lot to live up to, with the current crop of vets being amongst the greatest to lace up. Here are the five reasons why RG3 holds the title:
1. The Lord above
When the big QB upstairs has your back, then can you really afford to snigger? RG3 has a pretty special relationship with our overlord and hasn 't been shy of showing it. His social media exploits have become akin to Buzzfeed, clickbait for the unwashed, not only letting us peek past the curtains into the bedroom of Griffin’s life, but understand, finally, just where Griffin gets his superhuman playing power from! Brady better start kneeling...
When you’ve got God on your side, can you really lose? I mean, it doesn 't matter that the cornerback who just intercepted your underthrown looseball also has the same God, it’s you who he believes in...
Now can religion be classed as a performance enhancing drug?
2. His numbers
All that really matters in the number one. Look past the 33rd
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3. His indestructible knees
Some may say the injuries Griffin has suffered are a result of his reckless play, a price to pay for his run and gun style, and the fact he cannot see trouble even if it was bearing down on him in a JJ Watt shaped package. Oh wait...
But they are just plain wrong. Griffin III is indestructible. Surely the III in his name alludes to this?
Robert’s body now contains more metal than bone, and who wouldn 't want a bionic QB? After the Lions so kindly gave Griffin a bump on the head last night, the transformation in the Griffinator will soon be complete, and the naysayers will soon eat some humble pie.
Just don 't forget to oil those joints...
4. His team
It’s not hard to look good at the