Growing Up In A Dysfunctional Family – Making Up For Missing Parenting In Adulthood
There are no hard and fast rules about what a dysfunctional family looks like because there are so many different characteristics that could contribute to a maladaptive home. If you felt isolated and you were unable to express your feelings, then you may have grown up in a dysfunctional family. If feelings of depression and shame were common and you feared authority while seeking approval from others, there is a good chance you grew up in a dysfunctional family. If you have high levels of anxiety, feel frightened of criticism, constantly take the blame when you're not at fault, feel guilty, and have low self-esteem, these are all classic signs of being raised
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It isn't uncommon for people with dysfunctional upbringings to suffer from PTSD, but even if you don't, it may be causing similar symptoms. Studies have shown that children raised in dysfunctional families experience the same after-effects, coping with guilt, isolation, and nightmares (https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Meta-analysis-of-risk-factors-for-posttraumatic-in-Brewin-Andrews/0376fedb10b4fbf1f786f2eca716556e6d8151ff?p2df).
Address Denial
Denial is perhaps the biggest obstacle standing between you and recovery. When you were a child, you had to live in denial because it was a safe way to protect yourself. You couldn't accept the obvious because it was too much for your brain to process. So, you gave in to the family system's demands. You disassociated and now it's time to look at the reality.
First of all, don't blame yourself for not dealing with your denial sooner. It's a process, and your denial kept you safe for a long time, but now it's time to peel it back and deal with what it has been hiding.
Denial is powerful and you can begin your healing journey by acknowledging the unspoken rules you were living with as a child and how those kept you safe then, but are harming and hampering your growth