Hope Edelman's 'The Myth Of Co-Parenting'

Hope Edelman, a writer and mother, discusses her thoughts and experiences of the reality of marriage in, “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.” Edelman details how at the beginning of her marriage her husband was starting an internet business and had to take long hours causing Hope to cut hers in order to care for their child. Hope describes how she expected marriage to be a place where the spouses split homemaking and breadwinning equally. She quickly realized that that was not the case. Hope details how she became a primary housewife quickly and ended up becoming angry not doing what she wanted to do. Throughout, Hope asserts her anger and the situations she was put in that caused her frustration. By the end of

As Edelman writes she continually repeats her angry thought process. She begins by bringing up a situation and detailing the situation with a mild tone that portrays a feeling of indifference towards her split parenting with her husband. As she continues to describe the event the tone shifts to one of more cynicism. The first example of this occurs when Edelman’s husband, John, increased his hours at work and Edelman began by describing it as a “good excuse [for her] not to work like a maniac” (51). This illustrates her mild tone and acceptance of her having to work less than before. Edelman begins by detailing the advantages of her having to work less, but then transitions into a darker mood once she discovers that she was forced into her co-parenting situation. With Edelman having to stay at home more she rapidly converts her tone by stating that her “choice hadn’t been much of an actual choice” (51). Her tone shifts towards a more sour connotation because she is realizing that she is unsatisfied with co-parenting. This complaint that Edelman has is congruous with a person who is told to do something that they reject wanting to do. By Edelman openly complaining in a negative tone about her “choice” it allows her to convey that she is not welcoming to the split parenting situation her

Hope after her first outburst, continues to describe moments of her parenting situation where she feels angry. She talks about how her husband had to take many flights and having no time to spend with her. Edelman after describing the situations she was put in states that she felt as if she “was the whole damn circus” (53) to her family and she never had time for herself. Edelman’s tone of disgust reasserts the anger she continues to feel. By using coarse language (damn), Edelman can portray the large effect co-parenting had on her anger. Edelman argues that the anger is not all her husband 's fault and that mostly the issue is mutual between her and her husband. She details the one time she got so mad that she went out and bought a tree house for no good reason. She said, “One day I said f*** it, and I took John’s credit card and bought a swing set” (55) This outburst again conveys to the reader that Edelman becomes so frustrated that eventually she breaks down. Her eruptive use of “f***” drives home her final feeling. By finally including one of the most vulgar words in the english language, Edelman declares verbally that she has hit the last straw and there must be a compromise to solve her co-parenting anger. From this point Edelman relaxes her tone and reflects on the decisions she has made. Edelman depicts how after her anger