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How To Write A Persuasive Letter To Lily Myers

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Dear Lily Myers,

Let me start by saying you are a very persuasive poetess. I know, because I was at the CUPSI Poetry Slam last year.

Let me also add that you possess an impressive ability for using words to suit your own means. When you first started speaking, I was convinced you were a firm advocate of healthy-eating. And for a few seconds, your entire audience shook their heads and clucked in disapproval at any woman- or man - who allowed society to sway their eating habits- and self-image.

Then, you started on your father- and his new girlfriend- the one who’s crazy about fruit, I believe? In that moment, all the women in your audience shot pointed looks at the men standing near them. Who knew how many of them had cheated on their loving spouses? …show more content…

That’s when the coin dropped, and all the women in your audience turned to glare at the males standing amidst them- God forbid some of them were actually overweight. You were an instant sensation- and so were the words you spoke.

However, as you continued to speak, the men continued to grow restless.

You said your brother never thought before he spoke. That the two of you came ‘from difference’. How very poetic.

But let me ask you something, Ms. Myers- where in the world did you get that idea? Where, in the unwritten rules of the universe, does it say that men do not think before they act? You accuse us of indifference and ignorance, but yourself refuse to acknowledge the constraints society has slapped on us.

Which man- which God-fearing man- would dare to make a remark about women when one of them is present? Times are such, that men have to actually think harder than women before they speak- lest anything they say in jest be taken too much to heart by their female counterparts- for example, “How can anyone have a relationship to food?”

As it incidentally happens, that is also a question I seek to

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