My challenge to my female friendship has changed me entirely. Personally I am still outgoing, but now I tend to try less to keep a friendship from breaking. Sadly, I can see myself giving up when I feel like I am losing a connection with them. I do think that how we refer to each other does effect and take a toll on a friendship. During the narrative assignment, I called my closest friend my ‘BFF’. As I am older now, I realize that this name has so much value and meaning to it, that it is hard to live up to. This naming created pressure; she had to live up to an expectation of being perfect and always there with cool and new ideas. I can see now that she was desperately trying to live up to my expectations of what a ‘BFF’ should look like. I was aiming too high, when I should know that no one is really perfect.
In the reading, ‘I am a Ho, Hear me Roar’ by Renee Bondy, I realized that “the language of female friendship, with its intimacy and emotional weight, is a complex and ongoing task”. Even though I wasn’t calling her by derogatory terms, we still initiated a naming ritual where we named each other’s as “BFF”; however, with this title came with great pressure
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“And, However unintended, our anger arouses in you….Speech between us is fraught, with tensions; every sentence mined with risk.” We were too afraid to hate one another, yet we were blind to the fact that these feelings were being brought to the surface. As a result, knowing this now I am moved into being an active member in my current friendships. I am speaking my opinions on what I hate from what I love, and from my personal experience, it had brought me closer to my friends than ever. There is more of a mutual understanding between us, and now the littlest things tend not to bother as