Cancer patients' friends and families often feel helpless and at a loss as to what to do when they learn of a loved one's diagnosis. While they mean well and want to help, often they are as thrown as the person receiving the diagnosis when they learn that someone close to them has cancer. As a 10-year cancer survivor and also someone whose Mom, Dad, two aunts, and Grandpa have received cancer diagnoses, I don't know what's more challenging: to be the one diagnosed or to learn a loved one or friend is now a cancer patient. As a cancer patient, your job is clear to follow whichever course of treatment you decide upon and then regain your health. As a friend or loved one, your roles and responsibilities are less clear. Staggeringly high cancer statistics -- The Canadian Cancer Society's report, Canadian Cancer Stats 2009, …show more content…
Different patients have different needs. Some will appreciate having meals delivered, others having childcare arranged. If your friend or loved one seems hesitant to ask, consider your schedule, your special talents and abilities and make them an offer they can't refuse. Let the cancer patient set the agenda for your conversations. Some will want to vent and need you to listen, while others may want a respite from their reality and want to hear about your life. Offer to accompany your friend or relative to their doctor's appointments. Many medical associations encourage this because they realize that patients aren't always in the best head space to ask what needs to be asked, or for that matter to be relied upon to interpret what's just been said. Stay available; don't disappear because of your discomfort with cancer. Many people reach out at the time of diagnosis and then disappear. When a friend or relative is diagnosed with cancer it's our opportunity to become our best selves so that we can help them in their hour of need. By paying it forward, some day someone will help you when you need it