Gabe Tonucci
8/20/2015
“These days I live in three worlds: my dreams, and the experiences of my new life, which trigger memories from the past”(Beah 20). After a month of living in the relative safety of New York City, Ishmael Beah haunted by the events that he witnessed and took part in during the war. No one in New York could possibly understand what he had to go through, leaving all these thoughts trapped inside of his head. Not helping his situation is the fact that every night he tosses and turns from having nightmares we witnessed the RUF preform and the horrible things he did himself. He is a young man divided against himself, as his country had been divided against itself - in both cases, due to the rebels' violent actions. “One of the unsettling things about my journey, mentally, physically, and emotionally, was that I wasn't sure when or where it was going to end. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I felt that I was starting over and over again”(Beah 69). As a victim of the war and all the violence it has brought with it,Beah suffers
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So when the lieutenant gave orders, I shot as many as I could, but I didn't feel any better”(Beah 122). Beah sums up his method and motivation for becoming an effective killer in the Sierra Leone civil war. He channels all his pain, misery, anguish, and suffering into every single one of the rounds that leaves the barrel of his Ak-47 and kills a rebel. Even as he uses this method to rip threw his enemies,he realizes that even if he killed the entire rebel army he will never be able to bring his family and friends back from the dead. But with this method there comes a price, he begins to become dehumanized and starts to rely on the drugs to give him the extra boost to kill the rebels, slowly turning him towards madness and uncontrollable