Jessie Monologue Analysis

Well Jessie I’m awake right now and it is 3:28 am February 5th 2018….I am thinking of you and the time we just spent together. I honestly don’t know if you have feelings for me or not, feelings as being together. You are hard to read and i like that about you because i am on my toes. I am grateful for you finding me. I really can't believe you would have ever been into me or like me. Ever since we started talking January 4th it has been amazing! Jessie I really like you and can not get you off my mind...After kissing you i just felt like i found what i was missing...I am sorry if this is weird to you, i am just trying to be honest and open...it scares me. So if you want to know the real me then keep reading. I hope after you read this you will

So that was when i new if you did that, that bad things could happen. I don’t understand why I was considered a “popular” kid in high school or anything because i really did not talk to anyone and kept to myself because of the stuff I was going through on my own. In middle school I would play sports to be away from home...I didn’t like my house..at one point I was on the middle school basketball team, the wrestling team, and a traveling basketball team and yeah I was in school to. I would make myself do sports to try and get away from stuff. I guess I got a little good at them by doing this. However when I was in middle school I was long jumping 17 feet or farther my best jump in 8th grade was 18 feet 7 inch. Well during one of my jumps i landed in the hard sand and i tore my meniscus so I was told to stay off it for six weeks. Then I got cleared and got to high school and was in a football game my freshman year and got hit wrong and fractured my ankle. So i was taken to the hospital and they told me to not be on

My dad was getting drunk and would not talk to any of us. My mom was doing weird stuff so I didn’t talk to her. So during this time I attempted suicide because i felt I couldn’t do anything and that I wasn’t worth anything because I couldn’t talk to anymore or do anything. So it failed ( no duh haha) Well after this attempted i went and bought my old truck and started doing body work on it and making it look better. I turned the truck into my therapy I would go get lost in working on it and forget about everything. My mom then started talking to rick (my step dad now) and was helping him get out of prison...yes fucking prison, he was a drug lord from Washington and sold 100% proof cocaine….Well my mom got lost in getting him out and my dad was drinking 24/7. I remember the first time I played varsity football my mom missed the game because she was out with her boyfriend at the time. So I didn’t like her for a while because she wouldn’t go to anything I asked her too and she never cared really. So i got lost in the truck that is why i will not sell it.... Senior year roles around and my dad was dating this one batshit crazy