Love In Tim O Brien's The Things They Carried

War forces soldiers to abandon inapplicable feelings, such as those of love, in order to fulfill the duties of war. If a man is constantly focused on his “sweetheart at home”, or a lieutenant is wrapped up in becoming friends with his soldiers, he won't be able to dedicate one hundred percent of his energy to the fight for his country. Considering a soldier's primary job is serving his country, devoting himself to the war and the fight, love has no place in Vietnam. After Ted Lavender's death, Lieutenant Cross reevaluates his priorities, because he feels as if his love for Martha got in the way of protecting the lives of his inferiors. Cross thinks to himself, “… his obligation was not to be loved but to lead. He would dispense with love; it

In order to be a successful lieutenant, Cross can't focus on love. Among soldiers exists a belief that love is a feminine emotion, and therefore, love and war can't coexist. If his soldiers envision their superior as a friend, with whom they can discuss lighthearted topics with, Cross's unit won't sustain the same war-like mentality their opponents put forth. In “The Things They Carried”, Cross burns Martha’s letters to represent the destruction of his love for her, “On the morning after Ted Lavender died, First Lieutenant Jimmy Cross crouched at the bottom of his foxhole and burned Martha's letters” (O’Brien 22). Burning the letters was a physical gesture that was meant to dispel all feelings of love towards “sweetheart”. Though the letters were small and weightless, they proved as heavy emotional baggage to Cross. The letters distracted him from giving all of his attention to his soldiers, making him feel responsible for Ted Lavender’s death. A lieutenant's obligation is to lead his men to be successful, blocking out any emotions that will impede upon the success of their unit as a