A friend from college recently told me that she was the main target of the rumor which was circulating for months before she heard about it. The content of the gossip pertained her intimate life claiming that “she has been fucked” by a guy or more precisely specific “guy fucked her”. Although she admitted having kissed the guy on the party, she claimed that nothing else had happened and even the kiss was the result of intoxication rather than an expression of genuine interest coming from her. What was the most interesting about this gossip was the way she found out about it. She was told by the guy she has been dating recently that when he mentioned her in front of other guys, one of them immediately asked: ‘Isn’t that a girl who that guy fucked?” …show more content…
It is reasonable to conclude that the guy claiming being intimate with the girl spread the rumor to increase his value in the eyes other guys which reinforces the idea that masculinity is measured by the number of women the man manages to hook up with. Having slept with a girl is a personal accomplishment the rewards of which are so high, that one might be tempted to spread the lies. Additionally, it assigns the active role to men in intimate relationships, emphasizing the belief that man are the ones who initiate and reach the goal, while the women comply passively by “being fucked”. Except from promoting prejudices around sexually active and therefore successful masculinity and passive femininity, the gossip serves as the mean to control female sexuality. The fact that she suddenly turned into “a girl who that guy fucked” indicates that sexuality became the central part of her identity and nothing else mattered: “not what she accomplishes, what she thinks, not what she cares about and works for” (Jessica Valenti, Cult of Virginity). She is defined by the guys she was intimate with which is supposed to control her sexuality by spreading rumors and shaming. We should also note how this kind of gossip