Material And Personal Issues In Ken Sande's The Peace Maker

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In the book “ The Peace Maker”, Ken Sande says that conflicts have two basic issues: material and personal. “Material issues involve substantive matters such as property, money, rights and responsibility” Personal issues involve our attitudes and feelings toward others that result of how we have treated one another.” Both issues were evident in both cases, and as a mediator it was imperative that I understood which issue was the most important. The re-establishment of their relationships was key for me, it was something that they were losing. Luke 17:1 (KJV) says “It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! We are to help our clients to see that our fights begin within ourselves as noted in class. …show more content…

It is clear they begin within us; our lust drives us to want what someone else has. I believe that when I spoke with Shae that she realized that her offence was a result of her imagination of losing her friend, and the car was the object to use for lost communication. The similar occurrence happened in Janice’s interview, in which was using the sofa as an object of communication. In both interviews, I found similar occurrences were happening, that trust was almost gone between the two women, and trust is a condition for reconciliation (class notes, 2016). Per Dr. Meyer, “when trust is violated there is a wall that has been placed between the people who are in conflict, horizontal trust will lead to problems, trust when it is vertical is where we as a mediator can assist our clients to place their trust in God (class notes, 2016). Psalms 118:8 (NKJV) says “that it is better to take to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man”. This is where the mediator must balance the power (class notes). I believe that this trust was being reestablished in Shae’s interview, and not so much in Janice’s situation. Janice could not see her own accountability in the presenting conflict (class