Mrs Lazzaro

WARTIME REVELATIONS is a touching and inspirational supernatural, war drama with heart. The goal is well defined and the stakes are very high. The script is driven by solid themes about trust and faith.
At the center of the story is a sweet and innocent young orphan, Tina. It’s effortless to like Tina, as she’s very endearing. She represents hope in a war-torn world. Her goal to destroy the searchlights is compelling. It’s a worthy, actionable goal that the mainstream audience can easily identify with. The added supernatural hook is intriguing and gives the story a more magical and mystic feel.
While there’s definitely a lot to like about the script, especially Tina, the script would benefit from further development to enhance the strengths.

Pierre has a bit more resistance given his position.

Again, they make for a believable team, but what about their families?

The Colonel is the identified adversary. He feels like a typical German officer. He’s cold-blooded and has his own agenda. Depending on the target audience, he can be even more malicious. His voice is consistent with his personality.

One way to make more compelling characters is through dynamic dialogue. The current dialogue contains strengths and weaknesses. Tina’s voice reflects her innocent point of view of the world. She tries to remain positive. However, overall, the dialogue is a bit simplistic and tends to sound on the nose. Try to avoid scenes with a lot of question and answers conversations, as they tend to feel un-natural (pages 64,65). Try to find ways to add more subtext and to make the character sound deeper.

With that said, there are endearing and poignant moments that are very emotional. One is the scene with Father Pollo when he makes the hand shadow puppets on the wall and recites Tina’s chant. It’s very touching and moving. One truly can feel his pain. It may benefit the script to include Father Pollo more in the plan to break into the castle. His bond with Tina is