Everyone goes through moments in life where he or she feels depressed. For some, these moments can last anywhere from several months to several years. When you tell others you are depressed, most of the time they think that it means you are extremely sad; that is not always the case. Depression comes in many forms and has a lot of confusing, scary, and complicated symptoms. Many people do not recognize these symptoms, which causes the ones suffering to feel alone. People try to end this feeling in toxic ways, and even go as far as taking their own life. I am someone that has personally battled this. At the time, I believed it was right for me not to speak up because I thought most people around me did not understand the emotions that I felt. …show more content…
At first, I did not feel any sadness. I was a happy kid, but my anger was the problem. I would physically fight with my mom at home, and at school, I would fight students and curse at teachers. All I wanted to do was fight because I thought everyone was against me. Acting this way caused me to get labeled as a rebellious teenager. Many of the friends that I had in school stopped talking to me because of the way that I was acting. Losing friends made me start to get sad because I felt like I did not have anyone. When I was not at school, I spent most of my time hiding away in my room because I was ashamed of myself for feeling this way. I thought that if I ignored these crazy emotions, they would eventually subside. Isolating myself caused me to develop severe anxiety, which brought out that sadness even more. I would sit in my room and drown in all these intrusive thoughts and irrational fears that I did not understand. Why did I feel worthless? Why did I feel like something was missing within me? Why did I constantly want to end it all? Thoughts like this kept coming and coming and made me feel like I was not …show more content…
When I would do some of the things that I did, I made myself look crazy. I think that if I went to my mom as soon I started to feel these emotions, it would have kept a lot of bad situations from happening. Thinking back, I was not crazy at all. I just felt my emotions intensely, and I could not handle that at the time. Even now, people still hold things against me that I did when I was dealing with my depression that I would never do now because I know how to deal with it the right way. It is difficult for me to ignore what those people think, but it helps when I talk about it to someone that knows me well because they understand that I am not the same person. I still struggle with depression and anxiety every day, but I use what I have learned from support groups and other people to make it a lot more tolerable. Whenever I am having one of those days where I despise everything, and all I want to do is shut out the world, I force myself to go out and be around people. Doing so helps me not fall deep into my thoughts and let them take over because that was my biggest downfall. I now know that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for and I can face anything that is thrown at me, even if I fear