3. Offer bouquets first, before brick-bats
There are positive aspects in everything, if only we care to look for them, notice them, appreciate them. So, next time, before you start firing away at your kids for a lack-lustre academic report, do look out for subjects, even minor ones like PE, Music, Art or Health Education, which he has done well in. Compliment him on these first, before "blasting" at him for almost failing a couple of his core subjects. A word of caution here: It is clearly not good policy to "blast out" at a kid for poor performance. A responsible parent would have been continuously monitoring the kid 's performance throughout the year, taking note of his scores in the class tests and assessments, so that when the final report arrives, there would be no surprises. In any case, it is pointless crying over spilled milk. It is far more constructive to think about how you can help the child improve, moving ahead. Similarly, if you are filling out a feedback form or a response card at a food outlet, a bank, a hospital, or some such places, because you have some specific negative inputs, it is nice to start off with your observations of what they are doing well or right. Then, go on to tell them which aspect of their service did not meet up to your expectations.
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First, the good news ..." This same principle is being applied when we offer bouquets before giving negative feedback. It works wonders on the psychology - bad news doesn 't feel so bad when the spirit has just been lifted by some good news. Bouquets and compliments give the self-esteem of the recipient a boost and put him or her in a positive frame of mind to receive criticisms. Besides, a balanced feedback shows that the giver is being objective and fair and hence lends more credibility to the negative inputs that are to