Okonkwo's Relationship In Things Fall Apart

“Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development” (Pediatric Associates of Franklin). It is important for fathers to have a good relationship with their children. It can have a huge impact on how they develop as a person. In the novel, Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo did not have a good relationship with his father growing up. Okonkwo's father, Unoka, is known as a weak and cowardly guy. This made Okonkwo embarrassed of him. Children should be looking up to their fathers, not ashamed of them. Okonkwo's complicated relationship with his father influences his relationships; this manifests in Okonkwo being prone to violence and Okonkwo’s high expectations of himself.

This is due to the fact that the reason he is violent is because of his father. In chapter one, Achebe describes Okonkwo's fiery temper. He writes, ”Whenever he was angry and could not get his words out quickly enough, he would use his fists. He had no patience with unsuccessful men. He had no patience with his father" (4). This quote shows that Okonkwo is violent due to having no patience. Since he did not have patience with his father, he now does not have time for useless men. Because of this, impatience is a known characteristic of Okonkwo. Another example that shows how Okonkwo’s complicated relationship with his father influences his relationships is illustrated in the text when the author writes, “Okonkwo was ruled by one passion - to hate everything that his father Unoka had loved. One of those things was gentleness and another was idleness" (13). This quote demonstrates that because Okonkwo disliked his father, Okonkwo knew that his one goal in life was to not be like his father. Since Unoka is a gentle and lazy man, Okonkwo makes sure that he is the complete opposite. Instead of being gentle, he's violent. And instead of being lazy, Okonkwo is a successful, hard working man. Another way that Okonkwo's complicated relationship with his father influences his relationships is supported by Okonkwo thinking that the way to make people

One example of this occurs in the first chapter. The author writes, “But he was not a failure like Unoka. He had a large barn full of yams and he had three wives" (6). Okonkwo is constantly comparing himself to his father. He likes to talk about his own success to reassure himself that he is not like his father nor going to end up like him. Okonkwo bragging about his prosperity makes him feel less insecure about his father and also less insecure about himself. Okonkwo’s high expectations of himself is further demonstrated when Okonkwo kills Ikemefuna. On page 61, Ikemefuna’s death is described. Achebe says, “Dazed with fear, Okonkwo drew his machete and cut him down. He was afraid of being thought weak" (61). Okonkwo kills Ikemefuna in fear of being thought of as weak. Okonkwo thought of Ikemefuna as a son, but because he didn’t want the people of Umuofia to think of him as a coward, he took part in killing Ikemefuna. This ties back to his father because Unoka is known as a weak and powerless man. This is important because Okonkwo tries every way possible to not be like his father. A way for Okonkwo to avoid himself thinking of his father's lack of success is thinking of his own achievements. This is shown in chapter 8. Achebe writes, “Whenever the thought of his father's weakness and failure troubled him he expelled it by