I was diagnosed with depression when I was thirteen years old. I didn 't tell my parents about how I felt until one year after I realized my affliction. I often wallowed in self pity. For the next three years, I thought I was never good enough. I finally realized that the road I was on was not where I wanted to be. I felt useless, and so I would put such little effort into the things I would do. But despite not knowing who I was, I knew I wasn’t going to let depression define me. My philosophical friend, Ryan, told me to put my mind into your music. I was enlightened as he explained that music was the path to success and creativity. So, on a cold and rainy night, I went through my computer looking up different bands that could resemble types of music that were involved in how I felt. listening to classic and contemporary rock music such as Pink Floyd, Green Day, and Nirvana were my inspirations. Then I grew interested in other types of music like rap and Twenty-one Pilots. It was a way to vent all …show more content…
In the beginning I started practicing the guitar, on a dark night, I 'd think that it wasn 't worth the effort, but I would shut those feelings out. It gives me a boost of adrenaline and confidence. The first time I ever heard that sweet sound of a guitar strummed, I was so excited to create more sounds, seeing all the effort I had put into music, all the nights in my basement creating something prodigious. All day, I had a beat in my head that repeated. Depression is sometimes considered a repeated or vicious cycle. I believe in some way I replaced the cycle with music. Holding onto the guitar, the taste of metal on the tip of my tongue, the cold sensation on my arm as I would lean the guitar against it. Seeing the indents in my fingers from pressing too hard on the strings, the calluses on my hands, bruises on my fingertips and aching but not stopping. I taught myself to play the piano, drums, guitar, and saxophone. I would write down how I feel and use them for