Her father is in the Navy, so her family moved around a lot as she was growing up. In her 19 years, Anna has moved to 17 different places, usually staying in each for no more than a couple years. The longest period she had lived in a single place was during middle school: 3 years in Japan. Despite the thrill of traveling to different places and living abroad, military life was difficult for Anna. Frequent moving meant that Anna didn’t have much time to develop and maintain close connections with fellow students her age, and the friends she did make she would soon have to leave behind.
The moment I walked into this new small town school; I felt strained. I went from PS 60 in Queens to some place called Cocalico Middle school. I walked into my first day hoping I’d be indifferent, but feelings don’t work that way. The first thing I noticed was the lack of diversity; I noticed this when I was at school and then when I went to the local grocery store. I observed everything, but tried not to make myself noticed.
Monologue of an Outsider (Running on stage) I’m finally home. (Taking off backpack) I don’t want to ever go back to school again. I wish I never moved to Canada.
Elen Vaquero #21551 November 10, 2017 Narrative Merrell/ Wood, 4th period The outsiders >>>WHAT THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME..... <<< ¨Hey uhm Ponyboy today we gotta rumble,are you okay,
Illuminated by the colors on the screen, I settle down on the worn out sofa. Popcorn and my dad’s cologne mix and mash with each other and create a distinct smell that still haunts me today. I leaned into my dad’s arms, his body heat makes my muscle relax, as my eyes glue to the screen. The buttery taste of popcorn fills in my mouth. My eight year old brain mixes up all of the characters names and faces in the movie, except one particular one.
It was my first day at Reyburn Middle School in Clovis, California. Lunch hour was approaching and I could feel the wavering anticipation of the other students. It became so apparent that it was almost a tangible substance; something that could be seen and felt. Finally the bell rung and the students fled from their captives to rejoice with their friends and release the cathartic build-up from the day’s worries. I bought my lunch and to my dismay, as I panned my gaze across the courtyard, saw the invisible barriers the students had constructed to keep themselves within their respective groups.
I grew up in a very small, one stoplight, southern town. The kind of town you see in the movies, where everyone knows everyone, where neighbors become family. The kind of town where you marry your high school sweetheart, and then, later on, raise your own family in the very same place. Growing up here things were simple. Childhood afternoons were spent running barefoot through the creeks or riding bicycles with the kid next door.
I quickly finished tying my shoe and hopped onto my purple mountain bike and we were off. Logan my brother who I love sometimes,Cassie My best friend, Easton Cassie’s brother,Sawyer Cassie’s brother, Mr. Wychers and I were going to ride our bikes through a trail off in the woods and go to Whistle stop and then cut through town and head to Houseman's. The sky was cloudy and the daylight was being blocked by a thick dark cloud, which looked a lot like a rain cloud. We started to cut through a dead cornfield, lifeless tall brown and crusty plants sat in a single spot and as the soft wind blew the once luscious herbs. I felt the dead greens slap me in the leg and burrs got stuck to my pant leg.
Since my fourteenth birthday my life has been a series of perfect catastrophes. An outsider would unquestionably deem my life desirable, although nonetheless average. Since fourteen I’ve appeared to have it all; and if you look the part you’re halfway there, right? I say this because people who don’t know me very well will likely describe me as “pretty, popular, and smart,” which are all great attributes to have, but the outside doesn’t always match the inside. I’m not going to tell you I was utterly miserable from the day I entered teenhood because if I did I’d be lying, and wouldn’t that be an awful way to introduce myself to the individuals who hold the power to better my life for the next four years?
For most of my life I have felt like an outsider. I've been described as artistic and outgoing, but this was only a part of what made me different; what made me an outsider was my sexual orientation: I'm gay. During middle school I was severely bullied for being gay, I lost many of my friends, and when I tried informing school staff that I was bullied, I was ignored and left to figure it out with my family. It was hard for me and my relationships with those close to me. I would not fall victim to others' attacks, I had to persevere in my schooling, I became the little engine that could.
My world began when I transferred schools in grade 6 and transported to a world comparable to Morningstar’s palace. A world of isolation, fake friends, and loneliness. A world of insufficiency, shortcomings, and failure. A world of torment, suffering, and agony, that still haunts me today. My world began in hell.
Have you ever killed someone? I haven’t, but I have been an outsider. We have all been outsiders at one time or another. But, what makes someone an outsider? Is it because of who you are, or who you aren’t?
That day, she told me to take it one step at a time and not to be afraid to step out of my comfort zone and push my limits; this gave me the comfort to move on with my life. That next week, I was immediately enrolled in middle school in the United State. My schedule consisted of the same old boring, bland things, “get to my classes, and then go home.” I never made time for company, I didn’t socialize with anyone, nor did I join any activities or clubs.
From this day, I still remember how lonely I felt and how badly I wanted to be accepted. I dreaded to go to recess because I wasn't sure what type of crowd I would “ fit in” with. As I walked in class, I saw everyone divided into various cliques and eventually I found myself every week trying to fit in with a different one. I tried my best to act like those kids in order to fit in, I changed so many things such as my attitude, my clothing, my hairstyles and how I spoke in the span of one year. I was so desperate to feel like I was not alone and had real friends that I basically would’ve done anything for others to like me.
Even after discarding the things that set me apart, I was still made to feel as if I was an outcast. As the years passed I began to grow tired of the face I painted on daily. I missed my round glasses and being able to hide behind a book when I felt too scared to face the world. As high school came around, life brought around a new array of challenges and emotions.
