Personal Narrative: Buddha's Identity

The day before Buddha 's birthday, I secretly went to my computer and googled “don’t believe in Buddha.” I was motivated to go on Google when I realized that I just couldn’t worship any of the Buddhist ideals I was practicing. Unknowingly, there are people who consider themselves an agnostic or an Atheists. I researched about them and their ideas corresponded to my own beliefs. I didn’t tell anyone about my findings. I knew it wouldn’t matter. As part of the Li family, I always knew that one day I would become a Buddhist. I couldn’t argue with my ineluctable identity. My parents had gone through the passage of becoming a Buddhist and were proud to pass this tradition on to me when I was born. I hated it. I didn’t understand the importance of it either. As a kid, I questioned why we would only eat vegetables, burn joss paper into the ashes, and bow down on the floor

I thought it was stupid. As 8th grade arrived, I began reading what are called ‘Sutras’ or Buddha’s teaching of our existence and how we came to be. I was not fond of reading about the pointless ideas of my existence. The more I read, the more I felt like an Atheist. I got through it by simply ignoring and refusing to connect to the stories and philosophical ideas that were supposedly part of me, so I didn’t have to hear all the gibberish that I was taught. This decision has changed my life. Looking back, I was reunited with the idea that being a Buddhist was an acceptance into my new community and culture. Now, whenever I am with my family, I don’t stand there thinking everything is dumb. Instead, I am thankful that I am surrounded by those who comes from the same background as I do, all who is grateful to be part of the Buddhist community. Comes Buddha’s birthday, I jump out of bed excited, read the Sutras not once but three times keeping in mind that I am surrounded by a comforting community, and joined my family at the dinner gathering, concluding one of the best days of my