Keeping a secret is hard. In all I’ve learned about secrets over the years, this is always true. After all, people are social creatures, so knowing something of interest that someone else doesn’t know is agonizing. We love to tell others exactly what we’re thinking, and a secret directly interferes with that – its something we can know, think about, but must not say. Its torture. But who wouldn’t go through torture for the ones they love? Recently my friend Derek* and I had a falling out of sorts, completely due to our differing definitions of a secret. By means of this heartbreaking, infuriating, and downright tiring string, I have learned the value of personal perspectives and experiences and their immediate influence on communication. Before this event, Derek and I were the best of friends and were usually seen as uncannily similar. After, we at best carry slightly strained conversations that I’d much rather avoid. To understand the conflict that erupted, a discussion of our different backgrounds is …show more content…
Which is noteworthy, as I’m not one who gets angry or curses. Yet throughout that day, I found myself steadily cursing at Derek in my head as I tried to think of what I should do in light of what I could only see as a betrayal. When I saw him later, I did curse*** and told him off about his apparent inability to hold anything in confidence. We didn’t speak for another six hours, and I definitely considered extending it to days or weeks. However, as a student who aspires to be a counselor, I knew waiting would be immature and only make matters worse. So, as soon as I was too tired to continue clenching my fists and mentally cursing, I sent him a message suggesting we talk. We did, and that was how I discovered our vastly different definitions of a secret. I also discovered that Derek was entirely unremorseful, which I could understand but refused to accept. Because to me, what he did was simply