Personal Narrative: My Personal Identity

I have a confession to make. One that makes me wince a bit and pushes me uncomfortably against contradictions it creates in my identity: I am in an impassioned relationship with the creation of a ‘perfect’ wedding. Hours of reality television shows about affirming the best dress? Check. Casually browsing wedding registries at Macy’s? Check. A Pinterest board full of grand blueprints for my own big day? Absolutely. I love it all. As far as my memory extends I can recall fantasies of this day romanticized as the beginning of my life as a married woman. And while it does not seem especially abnormal in the context of my personal social circles, it has begun to raise questions for me individually as I navigate the assumptions, motives, and functions of such a goal. Questioning these areas

For instance, how does such my celebration of a heteronormative institution challenge my identity as an ally to the LGBTQ community? And, what does an affinity for a ritual rooted in male ownership of women say about my identity as a feminist? In facing such questions, I have been led to the many layers beneath the “white wedding” (Guest 2014: 323). Layers grounded most directly in sexuality. Such an analysis directs itself to the construction of Western weddings, the power relations of sexuality, and real world examples of sexuality being lived. In deconstructing this concept of the “white wedding”, as Guest references the title of sociologist Chrys Ingraham’s book White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture, one is led to the “wedding industry” as Ingraham