It doesn’t get easier. It won’t get easier. It’s been 12 years since he passed yet despite everything it still aches just as it did the second I found out. I wish I could go back in time to that morning. I woke up and found him at the table, writing. God, that’s all he did. He wrote and wrote and wrote. I would read his writings for the rest of my life just to feel a little closer to him again. I tried to persuade him to come back to bed, but he refused. He assured me he would be back soon. He called it a meeting. Why couldn’t he be honest with me? Alex never liked duels. He hated to get involved in any. Why did he get involved in this one? I hate Burr. He should have known Alexander would never shoot him. He should have known not to do it. He should have known that the world was wide enough for both of them. Why didn’t he know that? …show more content…
I refused to let his legacy end here. If he were here, that would be all he would ask of me, to live out his legacy. I interviewed every (living) soldier that fought with him. Mulligan, Lafayette, Laurens. Laurens, he’s with Laurens now. Laurens would do anything for him, he did do anything for him. He died for him. He died fighting for Alex. That is the most pain I had ever seen Hamilton in. But, he just kept writing like nothing had happened. Nothing would make him stop writing. Doctors told me that as he ran out of time, he just kept talking. Talking about nothing! He just kept talking, he knew he was running out of time and just wanted to get everything out. If he was able to write, he would have written non-stop. He would have died writing. I am not surprised that he died talking like he did. I wish I was