Overall from all the readings that were given, a clear message was being told. That message was that neither side wins. In Mark Twain’s “The Prayer”, he makes it seem like war is glorious, but it shouldn’t be glorified when war itself is horrific. He explains a war prayer that was being told then finishes off the story by saying, “It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said (3)”. It was clear that the man making the prayer to the patriots of war was claiming that he is sending a message from god and that god is amongst them.
I referred to unit 7’s discussion post where you outlined your essay. So far your research has proven to make for an interesting essay. I’m sorry I did not find a persuasive thesis statement in Unit 8 though, meaning I’m not convinced that there should be a policy change. I know you stated this is a working thesis statement which was not included in unit 8’s post. If you don’t mind, I would like to give some guidance.
The piece of writing which I felt was unsuccessful for me was the Rhetorical Analysis of an article relating to a topic from our course book The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander. This piece of writing was difficult for me to organize my ideas around. The article that I decided to use for my rhetorical analysis highlighted mass incarceration among African American and the effect of civil liberties being are taken away from these individuals. I had a lot of repetition because many of the examples I used demonstrated more than one type of appeal. I found myself repeating what the purpose of the example was and how it demonstrated proper use of ethos, pathos, and logos.
This would help with some of the arears that are wordy and help the papers flow. An example is in your thesis statement that states “While the tank started as a pipe dream and then became little more than a novelty, it eventually evolved into what it was meant to be and still continues to evolve in this modern day’s ever-changing battlefield as well as in the minds of people.” Reorganizing sentence structure would lead to a stronger paper. Maybe the thesis statement could read; The armoured tank first developed from an idea into a powerful weapon used in warfare, but do to advancing technologies it’s use has become limited in today’s ever changing battlefield. Proofing read and sentence structure would aid in the strength of your
The thesis statement in the document is: "I strongly believe this course has prepared me to be successful in English 112." The method of development used in the document is a combination of personal reflection and persuasive writing. Emma reflects on her experiences in English 111 and discusses how the skills and knowledge gained from the course have prepared her for the challenges of English 112. Support and Specific Examples:The syllabus and expected course schedule provided in English 111 helped emma stay on track and be successful. Emma marked off completed assignments and used the category details to understand each assignment better.
Another bullet point that helped me out is to really know about my subject before I decide write a whole paper on it. Nobody can write a whole paper that makes sense on something they didn’t research or even put effort in trying to learn about it, and sometimes that's how I feel when I write papers for classes. After I turn a paper in I think to myself: Did I do enough research about this? , Did I tell them the main points or just the details? , Did I even tell them enough of the topic I researched?.
Film Graduating Peter is a documentary that tells the story of Peter Gwasdauskis, a young man with Down Syndrome, who is transitioning from high school to adulthood. The documentary follows Peter's experiences in school, his relationships with teachers, peers, and family members, as well as his struggles and achievements. One of the things that I liked about the teacher in the film was her commitment to helping Peter succeed. She demonstrated this by providing him with individualized instruction, modifying the curriculum to meet his needs, and advocating for his inclusion in the regular classroom.
“Recitatif,” written by Toni Morrison, is a short story about Twyla and Roberta, two girls who are described as Black and White, and their lives as they cross paths over the years. Although readers are told that the two girls are of different races, Morrison makes a point of never specifying which girl is which race. They first meet at St. Bonaventure, an orphanage where they are roomed together, and during their time there, they discover the many differences between them. As they grow up and reconnect over the years, they realize that there is a distinct line that separates them, but the author leaves it up to the audience to interpret what creates the line. Maggie, the mute, disabled woman who the girls saw while at the orphanage, is also
This semester was filled with many bumpy roads. I struggled in the beginning of the semester with my writings , as I didn 't feel confident enough to write a well developed writing. I seemed to find myself struggling whereas writing was not my favorable subject. The major errors I had in my writings this semester would be , grammatical errors,work citations, transition words, formatting ,paragraph development, sentence structure , and sentence level issue. Therefore I have set goals to improve my writing in the future.
It was challenging to take the first steps past high school in making up a thesis for a paragraph, but a thesis statement for an essay up two pages is a different case. My thoughts on writing a thesis statement are somehow complex to me personal because I
Your start in writing this essay is a good start. The background information in the introduction that you use it is attracting me when I read your essay. There is diversity in the information in your introduction. In addition, you make a strong thesis statement. In the other hand, your interdiction is too long; some information you don not have mentioned specifically you explain how the parents are the key for their children in three long sentence.
One writing task that I believe I did well on when writing the practice essay would be my use of structure. My thesis statement was clear as the introduction of my essay, explaining what my topic sentences will be pertaining to throughout the entire paper. One writing task that I believe I could work on is my development. I should have incorporated more details and ideas that supported every topic sentence that occurred. For example, in my essay I talked about my travels regarding the military, however, I barely scratched the surface of what new and exciting features about the places that I could’ve capitalize on.
In chapter seven, I learned the importance of drafting a thesis statement for a descriptive essay. A thesis statement will aid the writer in only adding information that supports the statement. This step prevents writers from including random pieces of extra information that may take the focus away from the main idea. However, if there are details that are irrelevant to the paper but important to the writer the writer must make some adjustments to the thesis statement so that the detail can continue to be relevant to the thesis. Learning about drafting a thesis statement in a descriptive essay will impact me in a way where I can avoid adding too much unnecessary information.
This time I have connected the paragraphs together. I had a better thesis statement. I had good topic sentences in each paragraph. The topic sentences were connected to the thesis. I had also used quotes better after using quotes I have cited them properly and explained the quote better.
The next thing I need to change is learning to decrease lengthy sentences. I have noticed that often my intended message gets lost behind erroneous wording resulting in poor communication. I need to approve on this habit by creating shorter sentences to give them more meaning, so they can be received more positively. A way that I can correct this problem is to focus on what my intended message is and limit the sentence to 15 words or less using simple words that are easy to understand (Cardon, 2013).The third writing principle I need to achieve is avoiding using empty phrasing. This is probably my worst habit, as a matter of fact, if one was to look at any of my previous writings you would
