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Scared Monologue

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I was scared about talking about it. I get scared facing how much I do actually miss you, so I avoid it, so it doesn 't get communicated, so you think I don 't miss you. and I 'm tired of being scared about this. I came close to slamming my head against a stone today, and it occurred to me then that that could have killed me. or as good as. something as simple and stupid as slipping on a wet footpath could have left everything I wanted to say unsaid, could have meant that I would never see you again, or at least not as I am now. the smallest and simplest things in this world can jeopardise so much, I shouldn 't not say things that you need to know. the thing is, I don 't actually know how to convey this. its been something ive been holding

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