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Sex Lies And Conversation Deborah Tannen Summary

687 Words3 Pages

Men and women are, undoubtedly, different in various ways. In the literal sense, the difference between men and women lies in their varying physiological features. It is fundamentally based on the fact that they view the world through different perspectives. These differing perspectives range from how they listen to how they are raised. Hence, one primary approach to understanding the difference between men and women involves evaluating how they carry out their conversation. A compare-and-contrast essay called "Sex, Lies, and conversations" was created by Deborah Tannen. That essay intended to highlight many communication problems between men and women due to differing expectations and habits. Tannen asserts that studies on the factors contributing …show more content…

Tannen explains, "boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive norms" (409). Although this line illustrates the difference between men's and women's social structures in childhood, similarities between the two genders are apparent. For one, child friend groups of only one gender are not exclusive to either boys or girls. Additionally, these child friend groups have specific structures exclusive to the group's characteristics, gender, and communication rather than copying parts of the opposite sex's child friend group. However, the characteristics of these groups traditionally contradict each other. Friend groups exclusive to boys usually are more inclusive and act more like a hierarchy. In contrast, friend groups exclusive to girls are usually more exclusive and act more like a …show more content…

Tannen notes, "These differences clarify why women and men have such different expectations of communication in marriage" (411). From the wife's perspective, talking is a sign of intimacy required to maintain the marriage. Through this perspective, she sees marriage as being able to open up to someone while still being loved. On the contrary, most men view communication in marriage dissimilarly from their wives. From the husband's perspective, talking represents one's social status and independence. Through this perspective, he sees marriage as being able to be silent without having to prove himself and without needing to defend himself against

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What makes a man different then a guy? Some people would say the difference is age or smartness, but Dave Barry wrote an article describing what he thought the major differences are. Dave Barry’s article is called “Guys vs. Men.” His article says that guys are interested in neat stuff, like pointless challenges, and do not have a ridged and well-defined moral code. Barry’s article can relate to Wes Moore’s book called The Other Wes Moore.

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The desire to be kind, to care and to please each other become nonexistent in the marriage relationship as time goes by. That is why it is important to maintain the communication line in the marriage relationship open regardless of the nature of the conversation as long as is conducted with

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In Deborah Tannen's essay, "Sex, Lies, and Conversation" she elightens her readers on an age old question, about communication between sexes. I personally have had several experiences with this exact subject, some of them merely reiterating the author's point, and others seemingly disproving her entire theory. For example, with my ex-boyfriend having any sort of conversation was so unbelievably difficult that it was hard to believe we were from the same species, much less speaking the same language. However, in my current relationship with my fiancee we talk easily due to having so much in common, which makes both of us want to communicate with each other, even in difficult circumstances. Which is why I feel that a great deal of communication

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Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen demonstrates how men and women communicate differently in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” In her observations of communication styles, she discusses the way in which men and women communicate leads them to conflict because they have different understanding of their partners’ role. She also explains male and female communication differences not only cause ineffective conversation, but also push couples into a dilemma in their relationship; however, as men and women better understand the differences, their relationship improves. In the first part of her essay, Tannen discusses men and women do not have enough effective communication, which damages their marriage.

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Sex, Lies and Conversations What is the importance of communication? Communication is an important life skill that helps to understand and connect with people by allowing to build respect and trust, it can resolve differences in the environment. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies and Conversations” highlights the different styles of communications of man and woman. Tannen opens her essay with an anecdote that grabs the reader attention with her own personal experiences. Tannen discusses how men and women contact with each other, and how different the ways of communications for opposite sexes are, and how this can lead to a breakable marriage.

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Siddh Shah Dr. Jessica Brosnan College English 3, Period 8 1 May 2023 A Comparison Between Boys and Girls Would different gender behave the same if put in a group with the same gender and left unsupervised? The novel lord of the Flies and the documentary Boys Alone are very similar despite one being a fictional work and the other being a real-life documentary. Both of the works explore the behavior of boys aged 11 to 12 years old when left alone without any adult supervision or rules. Despite the difference in where it's taking palace and what the circumstances are, the boys in both the novel and the documentary display many similarities in their behavior and their hierarchy.

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In addition to that when women finish each other’s sentences, men consider that as invasive, and interruptive. The author suggests that in order to mend the communication between marriages, the problem should be understood first which will allow improvement to come naturally. According to Tannen both men and women should try to understand each other and try to adapt when communicating but to also understand when they fail to adapt by acknowledging the

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Deborah Tannen, writer of the article “Sex, Lies and conversations,” published by The Washington Post (1990) claim that women and men have a different viewpoint of communication in marriage. Tannen develops this idea after comparing her own studies about this subject with other professionals researches, where they learned that girls consider conversation or talking vital in their friendships, boys on the other hand bond by doing things together. Tannen purpose is to help both men and women to be more understanding of each other by explaining the physical positions each other takes in conversation. For example “women face each other directly when talking while men look somewhere else in conversations,” further purpose would be to help couples

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Human relationships are a very complex system that has taken science and psychology years to figure out. Any human relationship needs fundamentals and basics to run smoothly. Communication is part of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship, especially when crossing genders. Men typically are straightforward, while women like to say as much detail as possible. Two different articles (“His Talk, Her Talk” and “Man to Man, Woman to Woman”) discuss the different communication styles of men and women and how they affect the relationship.

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This is a negative standpoint because Tannen also mentioned that in marriage the greatest fear is being pushed away, this explains that if the husband doesn’t decide to prefer to share his opinion or doesn’t like to bring up the conversation then their chemistry would be greatly weakened and would ultimately lead to being pushed away. Also, “For women, talk creates intimacy” (Tannen). This means that men are frequently expected to bring up the conversation most of the time instead of not saying anything, leading to build a wall of silence between them. If the husband brings up the conversation first then their wife would feel more comfortable and would start to reflect back by going with the flow of the

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Socio-linguist Deborah Tannen illustrates that communication differences within men and women in “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other.” Tannen provides an anecdote to describe the same conversational problems that happen on married couples. Tannen states different communication styles of men and women cause misunderstanding or even ruin their marriage. Tannen also provides the solution of understanding “cross-cultural” differences can improve male and female relationship.

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Anyhow, is important to know that the missing piece of a relationship is communication, and understand that men and women are different. Although Tannen, in Sex, Lies, and Conversation, states that communication manners vary from men and women, causing conflict; however, Judy Brady,

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Tannen used her genderlect theory to help bridge that gap by acknowledging and achieving an understanding of the language of each gender. Conversation between men and women can be described like cross-cultural communication. This is the basis of Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand. In an effort to bridge that communication gap between genders, she examined the differences between how and why people communicate.

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Girls will show gesture of intimacy such as sharing each other’s sweaters. They also like gather together to have some secret talk . By contrast , when boys get along with their friend ,they will express their solidarity in rough way such as giving ‘highfive’ hand slap . Peer groups have a significant influence on psychological and social adjustments for group individuals. They provide perspective outside of individual’s

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Individuals’ daily life interactions, family influence, parental guidance and decision making, and role modeling create a constructed perception of gender. However, biological factors such as hormones, also play a role in how an individual acts and thinks. Males have some levels of estrogen, and females have some levels of testosterone. Without a doubt, men and women do have their differences. Biologically, men and women have physical, emotional and mental differences, but these differences do not make women the weaker sex or men the stronger.

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