Harriet is careful on how she explains the situation of her decision to take a white lover to her readers. Because her intended audience was white women, she had to proceed cautiously in explaining her choice to enter into sexual relations before she was married. While white, middle class women were also limited in their sexuality by the gender norms of the 19th century, black women faced even more criticism regarding their sexual behavior. In order to reassure her readers that she was not a harlot, Jacobs first steps outside of the narrative, explaining how "the remembrance fills me with sorrow and shame" (59). Explaining how It wasn’t a reckless choice she made out of ignorance. But a decision that these women should try to understand. She