Summary Of In Search Of My Queer Mexican Garcia

Rebecca Norris

CCS 100/Section 1

Del Castillo

Spring 2016

Final Essay Exam Luis H. Román Garcia, the author of the essay “In Search of My Queer Aztlán” shares his journey through life as a queer Chicano man and what that means of his self-identity. Along with this personal view of himself, Román Garcia postulates on the position in which these identities fit into the sociopolitical outside world beyond his own self-perception. He explains the construction of these social identities through his experiences in the connection with his family, interactions with schoolmates, and intimate encounters with lovers. As described by Del Castillo and Güido, the term gay can represent sexual preference, style of living, and identity in terms of sexuality.

With the prevailing attitudes of white supremacy surrounding queer men of color, Eurocentric and heteronormative ideals bleed into the popular culture that dictates what being a queer individual should entail. Román Garcia expounds on the idea that oppression on many levels can bring one to a state of “nepantla” that allows queer Chicana/o people an intersectional perspective. Román Garcia states that in his past experience, the school system maintained the idea that boys should be “masculine, athletic, and heterosexual.” He was taunted and bullied by the other boys for not expressing himself with as much masculinity as expected. The only ideas he possessed about being queer came from the same sources as the boys who made fun of him: restrictive religious beliefs, popular culture, and word-of-mouth from traditional beliefs. Instead of exploring the reasons he felt different from the more masculine boys in his peer group, Román Garcia decided to rest in his role as the “smart boy” to avoid scrutiny. Instead of participating in sports and physical activities, he chose to stay out of the way of his male peers by keeping to himself and his books. This also gave him a way to avoid telling his parents of the actual reason he was being bullied. Román Garcia became very aware of the multiple layers of issues he must be aware of as a queer man of color. By the time he entered college, he feels the

He explains that his selfhood contains all of the connected identities of being a queer Chicano immigrant together into a continuous discovery of who he is. When he eventually came out to his parents that he identified as being gay, he reflects on this event by stating that he does not believe that his sixteen year old self even understood the weight of this identity. Having to wade through stereotypes, heteronormative ideals, and the pressure fit into a predetermined way of being, Román Garcia has grown to understand the motivations behind some of his inclinations. He speaks about the sexual relationships he has had with white men and why this preference allowed him to reject part of his identity. He explains that rejected his culture by selling his body to white men. Though he would have wanted to be in love with another brown man, he chose to let white men exploit him. Perhaps these exchanges were there to protect him from being rejected by other brown men as he had been growing up, like those of his family and peers. According to Román Garcia, some queer people of color allow this type of relationship because they equate their own people with the familial rejection many people are forced to face. He believes that the life of a queer person of color is politicized by merely identification. Throughout