Beth begins as an insecure young girl, who believes no one likes her because she’s too smart. It’s a good beginning. It’s fun to see her smarter than the others and more skillful in fighting. This nicely foreshadows the twist. The audience likes her in the opening. Her human mother fully supports Beth. She’s a peaceful person forced into a war. It’s a good moral dilemma.
Beth later learns that she was once a computer and became human. The motivation for her becoming a computer, based on what Joriah says, feels a bit challenging to believe. Her higher purpose for Beth is to rule without man’s hatred, but she also wants Beth to experience the emotions of grief etc., so it feels a bit contradictory. She wants her to go up against a women who
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Except for feeling like an outcast, it’s difficult to see how it changes anything. In other words, it’s a great twist, but with no payoff. Ultimately, to defeat her foe she has to use both sides – the computer side and the human side.
Joriah presents as a mystifying character. She gives Beth life and says her people help intelligent life forms evolve – and wants her to rule without greed or hate. This is a bit simplistic given the violent world and that Joriah, herself, used violence and destruction. If Joriah truly had a more actionable goal it might have been a great twist.
One doesn’t know who Joriah’s people are. She destroys Earth, so one isn’t sure if she’s a good person or a bad person. Then she tries to talk her way out of it by blaming it on her people not listening to her.
On page 109, Joriah sounds completely out of character when she questions if she should have told Beth about Leigha and says, “I really don’t know.”
What’s the purpose of giving Beth the power of storms? How does that really change anything in the story? .
Angelique is well identified as the antagonist. Her motivations may not be entirely clear regarding her need for power. She hates her father for killing her mother, which gives her some depth. At times she sounds histrionic and overly dramatic in her
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The killing of her father works, but they should exchange some witty banter.
The flashback with Angelique regarding the women slaves is not needed, it hinders the pace, and her backstory is enough.
Angelique can 't hurt Leigha and this shows her vulnerability and makes her complex.
Leigha, as mentioned, is the sweet little girl that everyone loves. She claims her mother’s name was “Beth?” But it’s Megan (page 23). Her relationship with Beth comes much too easily for both of them. Leigha repeating that her name is Leigha, becomes too repetitive.
Chris has potential. One likes that he wants to protect Beth and stand up for her. There’s a nice scene between them when he challenges her. This is what creates good chemistry. They share better chemistry as children/teen than adults. However, it’s a bit odd that he has known for years about her history; it’s challenging to believe this and has mentioned the purpose isn’t clear.
Unfortunately, the villagers and the character of Masibi do not fully engage. One reason is because they don’t challenge Beth as a character. They all like her and follow her directions without questions.
The dialogue or the dialect of the villagers also isn’t appealing, “Now ain’t you the handsome one,” and “You’re kinda cute, too, girl.” Overall, they add nothing exciting to the main