ipl-logo

The American Dream Cologne Persuasive Speech

736 Words3 Pages

“Are ya tired of bein’ oppressed? Of not bein’ able ta make conjectured an’ garrulous statements about other people? Of not bein’ able ta carry a deadly weapon on the off chance that somethin’ happens? Well from the makers of Grow Yer Own Eagle an’ Liber-Tea, comes ‘Merican Dream Cologne. ‘Merican Dream Cologne is a simple an’ transient spray that once inhaled causes those around the wearer ta listen in deference. Ya can say an’ do anythin’! Want ta make stereotypical remarks about someone without bein’ nagged about political correctness? Just spritz some ‘Merican Dream on an’ make yer opinion known! Want ta carry a weapon with you inta WalMart? ‘Merican Dream Cologne will solve that problem after a small spray and a few words about yer benevolent …show more content…

But again ‘Merican Dream wears off in about a half an hour, so while it can convince them the idea is good there is no guarantee they will actually follow through.” Again the crowed whispered happily amongst themselves tuning out his ending sentence. One woman stood, not waiting to be called on nor understanding manners, calling out her own worried question. “Sir, who all can buy this stuff? Can people with agendas purchase it? Like The Gays or The Terrorists?” Following her question was the cessation of the crowd’s noises, instead each individual looked apprehensively toward the man as if the fate of society rested in his hands. The man softly gestured to the crowd. “Now, ma’am, rest assured the Agenda Parties cannot purchase ‘Merican Dream Cologne here or in stores. No our product is sold only to true Americans. To ease yer fears even more, ‘Merican Dream Cologne only works when sprayed on true Americans, as we have a superior biology than Agenda Party members.” Relief swept through the crowd instantly. All fears appeased people began buying in bulk what many called “A true American product” and “Just what this country needs”, and began spraying the cologne immediately. In no time the sales man announced he was out of stock and would hand out numbers to call to place future orders shortly. On their way out the door towards home many commented on their desire to consecrate such an amazing product. It could only lead to bettering America, what could possibly

Open Document