My Midwifery Journey: The Eric Berne Communication Model

A personal experience of mine that correlates perfectly with the Eric Berne communication model was when I first began my Midwifery journey. I would travel to Hamilton from Tauranga every day, during the initial two-week block course at Wintec. My day would start at 5 am when I woke up, I would return home from Hamilton at 7 pm each night. My partner arrives back from work at 4 pm every day. By the time I had come home each day, my partner was sitting in front of the television. The curtains remain closed, the animals had no food, the bed was still unmade, and he hadn’t organized anything for dinner. This situation was reoccurring, and on one particular day, I snapped. This experience created conflict between myself and my partner; therefore,

Berne (1964) notes that “In a given individual, a certain pattern corresponds to one state of mind, while another set is related to a different psychic attitude, often inconsistent with the first. These changes and differences give rise to the idea of “ego states” ”(p. 8). This model exhibits how we can transform from a parent, adult and child ego state. These states are easily interchangeable. Hollins (2011) notes that “The Parent is that part of us which reflects messages we received from our parents. That is, from what they said and how they interacted with us in early communication episodes” (p. 587). The adult ego state typically acts and communicates with rationality and takes time to process information before interacting with others. The child can be irrational and act out in tantrums, as children sometimes do. When I arrived home from Hamilton and saw the house in a complete mess once again, I was shocked. I found myself in the parent ego state. This parent ego state involves the morals and beliefs exposed to us from a young age as stated above. Therefore, in my parent’s house, the first person that arrived home would organize dinner and tidy the house so that the person who had the longest day could come home and relax. I was angry that my partner had been so selfish and expected me to do everything when I arrived back regarding the household chores after my exhausting day. From being in this parent state, where I held my beliefs and morals learned from my parents so tightly and close to my heart, I rapidly transformed into the child state. The child ego state can include irrational behaviour and tantrums. Due to me being extremely annoyed at my partner I had a tantrum as a child would. I communicated by raising my voice, stomping my feet and acting irrationally. Instead of being the adult, trying to talk things through