“The first wedding I attended was Ken and Barbie’s. I was just 6 years old. I ended up being the officiant, the caterer, the wedding planner, and oftentimes, even served as proxy for both bride and groom. I’ve attended several weddings in the twenty something years that have passed since then. And I’m sorry to say that mine is not one of them.” This is a quote by former “Psychology Today” intern Jen Kim who also happens to be a woman who lived with her boyfriend hoping that someday they would get married. However, Jen Kim, as many other women with a similar case, never did. Cohabitation is often the reason behind which long relationships end, and it is not an effective step before marriage.
(Let’s start first with some statistics regarding
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Moreover, living apart before marriage can increase the levels of commitment of the couple. To explain, women are more likely to view cohabitation as a step toward marriage, while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or postpone commitment. This can create negative interactions and lower levels of commitment even after the relationship progresses to marriage.
Living apart can also help the couple both financially and morally. This is because the couple wouldn’t have to worry about who makes more money or whether everything should be split down the middle or not. Worrying about who keeps the apartment or whose name is left on the lease would be avoided. In addition, talking about money is a sensitive subject. It can cause troublesome conversations amongst friends, family, and others. Hence, feeling self-conscious while discussing expectations, budget, and job responsibilities can be avoided.
In conclusion, cohabitation before marriage proved itself to be one of the various issues that can threaten a stable relationship, so I encourage each one of you to make this change starting today. Make sure not to ruin the relationship you will have with your future life partners by making such a mistake because at some point, the damage would become