A. “Research and studies have shown television has an overwhelming amount of power played upon people, but not all of its influence is bad.” This seemed to be the thesis statement for this paper. If I restated the thesis, I would say this: It has been shown that television can impact people’s lives, however, this impact is not always bad. The statement is definitely focused on informing the audience about the importance of the controversy being addressed. The thesis statement is not biased at all. It states that television has an impact on people but doesn’t state whether good or bad. I thought the only way to change the thesis was how I worded it above.
B. This draft definitely provides sufficient ideas and information about the topic. There
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The main purpose of the text is very clear. The purpose is to tell people about the television and it’s positive and negative attributes. The text does convey a sense of purpose. The purpose conveyed is information about television and what effects it may have on people.
D. The text is clearly focused throughout the paper. The focus is also clearly maintained on supporting details about television. There are a lot of relative ideas and information provided. None of the ideas seem to weaken the topic. Sometimes I feel that if you give too much information you can go off topic and weaken it, but in this paper it didn’t stray away.
E. This draft is well-organized. It has an obvious introduction, body, and conclusion. I did feel that there was an entire paragraph that was out-of-place. I felt that the fifth paragraph providing the information about the fictional writing was out-of-place. It didn’t provide any value to the paper. It felt out of place and just didn’t seem to fit. I think that you could cut that entire paragraph and this paper would flow better. The structure of the text maintains the author’s focus and keeps readers engaged. The only time it didn’t, was when I was reading the fifth paragraph. I just couldn’t seem to put my finger on how this fit into the