Welcome friends! Here's a glimpse into my emotional state!!!!! This is something i wrote while on an emotional trip, so it might not make that much sense. I don't expect you to read it all, you can scroll to your name and peace out, our you could just ignore this message altogether, I understand. Keep in mind that I wrote this while on my period, so I'm an emotional wreck rn, so if I'm rude or vilifying, I don't mean to be. I was literally writing this at 11 o'clock at night and crying. Honestly, I don't remember why I wrote this. Or why I'm sending it either
I sort of feel like everyone is uncomfortable around me, not in an obvious way, but the way that you are around centipedes or other weird small bugs. You they're not inherently dangerous,
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I have no idea if I act like it or not, but I'm clingy. I get jealous easily, I'm petty, I'm bitter, I'm anger, I'm emotional, and I'm always saying stupid crap for a laugh or for attention. I love attention. I love it a lot more than you think I do. So I do anything and everything I can to keep and make friends. Including some incredibly stupid things. If I'm not being a door mat(6th and 7th grade), I'm victimizing myself (7th and 8th grade), or I'm just plain bitchy. I'm always striving for everyone's approval, and I've done questionable things to try and earn it. When it was the popular opinion to do so, I hated Rachel, same for Courtney, Stephanie, Megan, and the like. I don't even know if I even actually hated them, but I always would go on about it, like I was convincing myself. And as I said before, pettiness is one of my defining traits. I always shrink a bit on the inside whenever someone comments about how Megan is the negative side of the Piscean personality and I'm the better one. I'm no better than she is(heh, probably much worse actually), I'm just quieter, and I cover myself better. I've turned just about everyone against everyone else, and when the plan inevitability failed and everyone was friends again my blood would boil, and I'd try again. I did it out of jealousy, boredom, and other crappy reasons you've heard 12.3 million other …show more content…
Who knows? This one will be the hardest to write, because while Stephanie was the one I found the most complex, my feelings towards you will always confuse me. You're gonna see a lot of idea fragments here, good luck making heads or tails of this....You always wondered why I didn't like you (by always I mean like, that ONE time) in sixth and seventh grade. Well its simple. You always acted like you hated me, no matter what I tried, offer even if I did anything, you seemed to be the one person who definitely wanted me out of this group ... It's weird, you know, how we're friends (if we even are still friends after I wrote this) or really that we're friends in the first place... Idek... Where to start.... You know how we always referred to ourselves as "the fish" people thought that we were the deep, creative, in-sync, Pisceans or something. Like having the same sign would make us guaranteed awesome friends... Or maybe I was the only one who thought that? I don't know, but they (I?) weren't completely right. Even though I said that neither of us got the good or bad parts, we still got some contradictory parts from the fish star dudes. I was clingy, you seemed to kind of like to