Why Do Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships between men and women have been prevalent in the world for as long as anyone can remember; however, it has not been long since people have finally started to realize how big of a problem it is. Abuse can come in the form of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, or any combination of the three. There is a major focus on abuse that can be physically seen, whether it be bruises or other injuries, but abuse that is well hidden is often overlooked. Gregory L. Jantz, a nationally certified psychiatrist wrote in his book, Hope & Healing from Emotional Abuse, “While society has gone a long way toward making such outwardly aggressive behavior illegal, often it has turned a blind eye to the more subtle forms of oppression” (31).

These conflicting emotions include fear, guilt, embarrassment, and love, or what they believe to be love. Fear can be a very compelling emotion, often leaving its victims cowering and ready to do anything to make it go away. This emotion plays a very big part in relationships with emotional and/or physical abuse, and is almost always a tool the abusers use against their partners. The abuser will terrorize their partner so much that the fear of what would happen if they left is more than the desire to leave. In fact, Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Crazy Love (a book about abusive relationships), stated that, “It can be dangerous to leave an abuser because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is to kill the victim. Over 70% of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has left the relationship” (Dockterman 1). This statistic fuels the overwhelming feeling of fear women experience, which convinces them to stay. Women fear for their lives, as well as the lives of people they love when they are involved in an abusive

The women feel as if they are responsible for the manipulation they are victims of. Their self-esteem is so low from the constant belittling and criticism they receive that they turn the blame on themselves. When asked about her personal experience, Emmy Allen, a survivor of an abusive relationship, said she was subjected to name-calling such as “worthless, lazy bitch”, “whore”, and many other degrading phrases. She also faced sexual abuse, which just increased the emotional abuse that resulted from his mind games. When asked about how it affected her, she said, “On one level, I knew I wasn't crazy, but he wore me down. After a few years, I felt totally hopeless and worthless. He was literally destroying me. I started to feel like suicide was my only way out” (Graves 1). Emmy’s story is just one of many in which the abuse women faced caused their self-esteem to drop to unimaginably low levels. Over time, they start to believe the nasty comments and begin to feel as if they are worthless or have no other