All I had wanted throughout elementary and junior high school was a theater club I could participate in on a daily basis. A major reason I had been so excited to go to Saint Bonaventure High School, was because of their performing arts department. I had seen their brilliant musicals and was ecstatic to be a part of the creation. Before I entered my freshmen year, current students advised against joining. "The director will really work you." They had said. "She might damage you emotionally." I didn't feel threatened because theater was what I wanted to do with my life and I shouldn't let anyone stop me. Theater was a difficult business in itself so I felt prepared mentally. I didn't have the best self-esteem throughout my adolescence so I was not too concerned about …show more content…
It was everything I had dreamed of and it did not bother me that the director shouted at the students or was usually frustrated about our competence. I didn't care because finally I had friends that I could tell stories with and that were individually wonderful people.Years passed and the seniors and juniors graduated. The post-freshmen were now taking charge of the department. I was still seen as less experienced because these other classmates the same age as I had been in the department longer. I was determined in the beginning of my junior year to change my director's mind about me and the perspectives of my classmates. I believed that they thought of me as incompetent while working on shows and I didn't want to be that way at all. Although I was hesitant to do the Fall show, I ended up participating anyways. Engaging in the next play led to me doubting myself even more in regards to being capable. I refused to be the weak link and I tried with all my might to mirror the actions of the other girls that were seen as efficient. My director, while encouraging to me whenever we spoke alone, held me in low approval while working in front of everyone