DRAFT COMPARISON -Less exposition. Holmes’s narration has been largely cut. Instead of explaining the history of the entire World Fair, Holmes’s V.O. moments now only convey his thoughts. -Less World Fair. This current draft delves less into the actual environment of the 1983 Chicago World Fair. The story still contains a few scenic moments, but overall it largely focuses on the construction of the Ferris Wheel and little else. -Later in time. The story in this draft opens a few months before the opening of the World Fair, once most of it has been constructed, instead of before breaking ground. -Shady Chicago. The world of 1983 Chicago is a much more vibrant and dangerous place than the first draft. Crime happens everywhere and Holmes no …show more content…
Emeline’s character is no longer a prostitute that Burnham and Holmes fight to win over. Emeline is now an independent woman who works as Burnham’s secretary and falls for Holmes with some reluctance. She also now dies at the climax of the film instead of around the beginning of the third act. -Burnham. Burnham’s character has been stripped of unnecessary character details that caused the first draft to feel bloated. Burnham no longer has the burning desire to make a better tower than France, and he no longer has a wife whom he hates. -Detective Pickett. Detective Pickett is a new character introduced as a freelance detective hired to find the person who left a mutilated corpse lying on the World Fair grounds. -Ferris wheel reveal. The reveal of the Ferris wheel comes much sooner in the latest draft, which allows the story to focus more on the struggles of building the world’s first Ferris wheel rather than simply deciding on a structure to build. -Holmes/Burnham rivalry. The rivalry between Holmes and Burnham is largely lost, until the after the climax. This is partially because Holmes meets Burnham for the first time very late in story in the current draft. -Holmes/Emeline. Holmes now actually falls in love with Emeline, and he proposes to her inside the completed Ferris …show more content…
Even just seeing more of the World Fair’s grandeur in the background of scenes would help increase the sense of world-building for this movie. HOLMES LOSES EDGE Holmes is a fantastically crafted villain up until right after he kills Pickett in his giant furnace. In the third act of the script, Holmes doesn’t seem as devilish or interesting after he falls in love with Emeline. His character shifts from feeling like a cold serial-killer to being a crazy boyfriend, which does not mesh well with the actions and desires of his character as set up in the first act. His shift in character would make more sense if his romantic relationship with Emeline were introduced sooner in the story and developed more throughout. The most intimate scene we see between the two of them is making hand puppets on the ceiling, so they should be given more moments with each other to fully establish this new side of Holmes that emerges. Or Holmes should never truly fall in love with Emeline, so his character remains consistent.