Writing A Good Thesis Statement

201 Words1 Pages
Your start in writing this essay is a good start. The background information in the introduction that you use it is attracting me when I read your essay. There is diversity in the information in your introduction. In addition, you make a strong thesis statement. In the other hand, your interdiction is too long; some information you don not have mentioned specifically you explain how the parents are the key for their children in three long sentence. I think you do not have to do that in the introduction. Moreover, the entire three-body paragraphs in you essay are very short and small. You have to support each body paragraph with variety ideas and give your opinion about the articles that you read it more. Also, you have to improve the way that