Supporting Brody: Navigating Grief and Counseling Strategies
School
Liberty University**We aren't endorsed by this school
Course
PACO 500
Subject
Arts & Humanities
Date
Dec 10, 2024
Pages
4
Uploaded by MatePigeonMaster1245
1Get The Present StoryMinistry or Agency-based Context As a pastoral counselor at a small church, I am seeking to make a connection with fifteen-year-old Brody. Brody was raised in a caring Christian household that was very active in the church until a horrific event changed the safe and secure environment he once knew.1 Brody suffered the sudden deaths of his mother and sister in a tragic car accident (he was extremely close to both). They shared his love for music and were a great source of support and encouragement to him. Brody depended a lot on his mother’s acceptance and approval; unlike his older brother Josh, he is neither self-confident nor reliant.2 Brody does not maintain a close relationship with his father; and because his brother is away at college, he cannot get the attention from him that he so desperately needs at this time.3 Guiding Purpose Statement Seeking to be a follower of Christ I am committed to becoming an effective counselor. In the Scriptures, the apostle Paul exhorts believers to follow him as he follows Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1 KJV). My GPS will help me to stay focused on assisting Brody (and others!) during the most difficult periods of life. The more Brody experiences the heights and depths of God’s affection, the more fully he will appreciate his life-changing brush strokes on the canvas of his life. Even when times are difficult and do not go as planned, having confidence in the Master’s purpose, brings hope for a brighter tomorrow.4 Rapport and Relational Alignment Brody is currently in a “blaming” position.5 I will need to shift my relational style (as a D/C personality type) to his “S” personality type.6 As an “S” type Brody is a submissive and security-oriented individual that shies away from trouble or change. He responds best to gentle commands, and slow and soft directives. He is both cautious and quiet; very guarded with his feelings. He desires stable environments without conflicts. He thrives in happy and supportive relationships. He has a people pleasing disposition most of the time yet he does have his limits.7 In order to create a meaningful connection with Brody, I will need to express myself with1“A case study on crosswords: A story of forgiveness” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).2Ibid., 5.3Ibid., 4.4Ken Nichols. Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything!. (Forest, VA: ALIVE Ministries, 2017), 13.5Charles Allen Kollar. Solution-focused pastoral counseling. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 81.6“Professional Leadership DISC,” Uniquely You, last modified September 8, 2023. https://uniquelyyou.org/.7Mels Carbonell. How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. (Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources, 2008), 127.
2encouraging and supportive words and body language; and “allow space” by allowing his thoughts to emerge, and valuing them.8 Further, I will need to shift my DISC style to being less focused on the “bottom line,” problem-solving and results.9 Phase One Distinctive Features The purpose of this counseling session is to build a collaborative relationship with Brody, myself, and the Holy Spirit, trusting that the Wonderful Counselor will be our guide throughout this process (Isaiah 9:6).10The goal is to assist Brody in coping with the loss of his loved-ones; and to facilitate positive changes in his relationship with his father. According to Clinton and Hawkins, “The goal of grieving is not to get things back to normal… The goal is to find and accept a new ‘normal.’”11 My chief aim is to help Brody to feel better about himself and his life by actively listening to him (and the Holy Spirit!) in order to understand the problem as he perceives it.12 Before trying to help as a counselor, my role is to keep in mind that God has been (and continues to be) thoroughly involved in Brody’s life; also, that Brody is the expert in knowing what is necessary to move forward towards God’s intended outcome for his life and the problems he currently faces.13 I will focus on the fact that it is more effective and empowering to listen to Brody rather than trying to solve his problem for him.14 Phase One MarkerAs a counselor I need to be invited into Brody’s world (and commit to counseling) before we cansuccessfully move forward.15 After sincerely complimenting Brody on his efforts to have a meaningful relationship with his father, I then asked him if there were times when the two of them shared a close relationship. Having realized that there are exceptions to the problem, a doorwas open to help him obtain a new perspective (and invite me as a pastoral counselor into his story).16 By identifying with Brody’s emotions, and using the proper skills, style, and methods, I 8Jim Petersen. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships. (Portland, OR: Petersen Publications, 2015), 166.9“DISC Style Report,” DISC Personality Testing, last modified September 8, 2023, http://discpersonalitytesting.com.10“Lecture notes: Solution-based short-term pastoral counseling: Solution-based short-term pastoral counseling” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).11Timothy E. Clinton and Ronald E. Hawkins. The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. (GrandRapids, MI: Baker, 200 9), 131. 12“Lecture notes: Solution-based short-term pastoral counseling” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).13Charles Allen Kollar. Solution-focused pastoral counseling. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 62–63.14Jim Petersen. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships. (Portland, OR: Petersen Publications, 2015), 101.15“Lecture notes: Solution-based short-term pastoral counseling” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).
3will have the opportunity to enter his world. In doing so, we can co-create a solution (walking together) to come out from under the weight of the problem.17 Food for ThoughtAs pastoral counselors, we need to be keenly aware that we cannot do it all. Our ability to refer and collaborate is essential. Pastors who know their limitations and competency (and use the skills of referral and collaboration) when members are suffering in an emotional crisis, are a great asset to the church. The pastoral counselor must identify with the counselee and walk compassionately with him. Additionally, he must communicate meaningfully with him. At times,the pastoral counselor will need to collaborate with other health professionals; as such, we need to be able to recognize symptoms and disorders that need specialized care. We also need to have access to triage professionals with necessary skills. Referrals only need to be done with the consent of the counselee and the collaboration of the counselor and triage professional. Both playa vital role in the care of the counselee. An important fact to remember is that a counselee’s mental health (or even their life!) can be in jeopardy if the pastoral counselor refuses the servicesof a mental health professional.1816Charles Allen Kollar. Solution-focused pastoral counseling. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 69.17Craig, L. Younce, “The significance of developing core counseling competencies in pastoral care ministry” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).18Larry Yeagley, “Pastoral Counseling: The art of referral.,” Ministry Magazine, September 2002, https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2002/09/pastoral-counseling-the-art-of-referral.html
4Bibliography“A case study on crosswords: A story of forgiveness.” Class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023.Carbonell, Mels. How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources, 2008.Clinton, Timothy E., and Ronald E. Hawkins. The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 2009. DISC Personality Testing. “DISC Style Report.” Last modified September 8, 2023. http://discpersonalitytesting.com Kollar, Charles Allen. Solution-focused pastoral counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011.“Lecture notes: Solution-based short-term pastoral counseling” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).Nichols, Ken. Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything! Forest, VA: ALIVE Ministries, 2017.Petersen, Jim. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships. Portland, OR: Petersen Publications, 2015.Uniquely You. “Professional Leadership DISC.” Last modified September 8, 2023. https://uniquelyyou.org/.Yeagley, Larry. “Pastoral Counseling: The art of referral.” Accessed September 13, 2023. https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2002/09/pastoral-counseling-the-art-of-referral.htmlYounce, Craig, L.. “The significance of developing core counseling competencies in pastoral care ministry” (class handout in PACO 500 at Liberty University, Lynchburg, VA, Fall 2023).